Category Archives: Guatemala Missionary
All I want for Christmas…..
Settle in… grab a drink… I have a lot to say today….
Ah, life…. life is funny…. life throws you curve balls… life is hard… life is fun… basically life is what you make it. The past few blogs when I read them over are so very different and yet I am glad I wrote them. They are raw and totally capture my feelings the first week here. Wow, what a ride. People ask me how I am doing here… hmmmm, thats a bit of a loaded question. Basically I would say I am happy here. Are there times I wish I was home? Of course. But overall, I am happy right where I am. It’s been a weird couple of weeks. To go from the ‘normal’ life back in Canada to the ‘new normal’ life here in Guatemala has not been easy. Funny thing about following the so called ‘calling’… once you get into it, it feels ‘right’ very quickly. We are all moved in and settled into our new home. I can describe it in 2 words…. LOVE IT! We have made it our own already and have settled into a routine of sorts. Sure there are many things to get used to…. like the fireworks (read: mini bombs) that go off in the streets literally at all hours of the night (today was 5-6am) as people celebrate the coming birth of Christ. But overall things are good. We miss family and friends back home and anxiously await our first visitors due to arrive shortly after Christmas!
Speaking of Christmas…. that is a tough one here. Sure we have our 1 foot tree sitting on our plastic dining table, surrounded by our plastic lawn furniture ‘dining chairs’…. but it simply has been a struggle to ‘feel’ Christmas here. For me, Christmas has always been a big deal. I spend months preparing, shopping, and decorating. Here I have done none of those things. I bought that tiny plastic Christmas tree at the market for a few quetzals and one piece of blue and silver tinsel to decorate. That is it. Nothing else. There are no Christmas carols playing here… not ones I know anyway. There are no big decorated pine trees anywhere except the town square. There is a bit of hussle and bussle of shopping in the market, but for us gringo’s it’s no worse than the normal chaos the market brings. There is no mall here…no Santa sitting waiting for screaming kids to be put on his lap for pictures… Here, there are those fireworks set off, scaring the daylights out of you all night…. in anxious preparation for the birth of the Saviour.
We have made a family decision here… to pretty much not buy any gifts for each other. But instead to buy gifts for the Hermana’s at the hospital and the children, both there and on the mountain. Monday I am braving a trip to Guatemala city to take the Hermana’s shopping. They need some ‘girl’ stuff and would like to pick out specific things… that will be their Christmas gifts from us and a very kind donor back home who gave a significant amount of money for gifts for them. During that trip we will buy toys and things for the kids. Should be an interesting day. Overall, Christmas has had me kind of in a weird place. The woman who made Christmas such a big deal back home was taught a valuable lesson yesterday. People talk about the true meaning of Christmas all the time.. as we bitch and gripe on our way to the mall to do more shopping. We get our blood pressure up on the crazy drive there, screaming at traffic we don’t have time to be in because we are afraid the ‘perfect’ gift might be gone if we are one minute late getting there. Then we get to the mall and whine over the line’s in the stores, or the fact that the debit machines are so slow… We chase our tails for weeks before, preparing for an occasion that will be over literally within minutes of waking up on Dec 25th. Is that what Christmas really is? I guess it was time for me to learn another lesson…..
Yesterday, we were invited to a breakfast at the hospital. To meet with Hermana Mercedes about the coming months and work projects etc. Hermana Mercedes has been burned many times in the past. People come and people go… People make promises to her and don’t follow through. Hermana is a brilliant woman with a Master’s degree in medicine and is one tough cookie to crack. She has always been very ‘guarded’ with us. Never letting her guard down one bit. Very nice and polite but waiting for us to bail on her so to speak. At the end of our meeting yesterday… she made a speech. One I will never, ever forget. She spoke of how, ‘everyone in that room was born to serve the poor’ and that God send our family at a time when she was at a low. When her faith in God was shaken because she had literally no hope. There was no money, there was no help, there was no hope. But God sent ‘Angels’ from Canada… and these Angels are spreading the word in a far away country… and sending more Angels… and God, through them have restored her hope…. her faith… and for the first time in almost 30 years she can see her dreams again…. dreams of opening other “hospitalito’s” (little hospitals) for starving children in other parts of Guatemala… Nicaragua, Honduras, El Salvador etc. And for our family and the people of Canada she will always be thankful. Children are being saved from certain death and she will pray always for us…..and thanks God for us.
When I looked up, when she was done speaking, I saw she was crying. You have to know Hermana Mercedes to know this is an incredible thing. All the other Hermana’s were crying just seeing her cry. Of course that made me cry… I reached my hand across the table and she very hesitantly she took my hand. I looked in her eyes and said… “we will always be here to cry with you, to walk with you and to follow wherever God leads right beside you”…. That was all I could manage in that precious moment. Fernando, Geoff, my boys, all the Hermana’s and me and Hermana Mercedes… all teary eyed…. all together… united in a goal… a goal that God has put on all our hearts. A goal that my family will see through until the end….
After that incredible moment… we parted ways. It was time for us to go to a village about 2 hours away. The village of San Juan Las Brisas. This village is in the Santa Rosa region of Guatemala. A lush, green area that is famous for growing coffee and sugar cane. A region that is also famous for their earthquakes. Back in July they had over 500 small earthquakes in a 30 day period. Imagine living there… imagine being poor there.. no where to go. Simply accepting your fate and knowing that a big earthquake could hit at any time and you could simple vanish from the planet… and no one in the world would know but your village… you are the forgotten… obscure little blips on this big blue ball. Guatemala is full of them.
A big one did hit… 3 big ones to be exact… back in September. Fernando called us. The village of San Juan Las Brisa’s was decimated by earthquakes. The rains were heavy in September and they were cut off from help by the fact that the one and only bridge to their village was under the river so there was no way in or out. People were dead and the ones left were cold, thirsty and starving. We immediately sent money down for him to buy water, blankets and some food for this village and Fernando and his father delivered the supplies once the water had receded enough to get help to them. Yesterday was the day we were invited to meet the people we helped face to face. We loaded ourselves, a pinata, some stuffed animals that were donated, some blankets and knitted hats that Geoff’s mom made into the truck and off we went.
To make this short and sweet, it was an incredible day. We met Carmen and her sister… Together we toured the devastation and with heavy hearts went back to Carmen’s home where all the village children had gathered to see the white people. Everyone knew we were coming and they were all dressed in their best clothes and had prepared a meal for us. Fernando explained that we could only eat the meat they had prepared because the parasites in anything else would be very dangerous to our health. Carmen brought out a 2L bottle of pepsi. I have to explain… the amount of meat they had prepared and a 2L bottle of Pepsi costs more than they make in a month. But for us, they sacrifice. Drives us banana’s to think they won’t eat much now for the month… but its part of life here. Give, give… give… give… It’s crazy. Would any of us back home share our last cracker if that is all we had to eat for a week? If that is all we had to feed our kids? Think about it… would you? Anyway…. we ate… and we set up a pinata. The kids were so incredibly happy… we found out after they had never had a pinata before and had no idea what to do. After some instruction and after the first piece of candy fell… they knew. Once it broke it was instant chaos. So fun. Many of these kids had never tasted ‘dulces’ (candy but literally ‘sweeties) before. Then we handed out stuffed animals, hats, blankets etc.
I sat in a chair after it was all over and watched the kids. They all had mouths full of dulces and were clutching their stuffed animals… some were happily playing all over the dirt with their new toys. My heart was full…. full to bursting. Bursting with the knowledge that I am where I am supposed to be. Then suddenly a tiny little boy came up to me… He threw his arms around my neck, kissed my cheek and said … “muchas gracias” (thank you very much)…. then ran shyly away. My eyes filled with tears…. and I put my head down so no one would notice…. When I lifted my head once I had composed myself I saw an incredible sight… a line of children… big, small, male, female…. each and every one of them threw themselves at me with arms wide open… hugging and kissing me and saying in Spanish…. “Muchas Gracias”… One by one they came… they went to each and every one of us after me. My heart almost burst… and I realized something…. THIS is what it’s all about… This is why I am here… This moment and the one I shared earlier in the day with Hermana Mercedes and the others is all I want for Christmas…..
The bridge that connects the village to the rest of the world....it was totally under water during the earthquake cutting off the village from help.
A temporary shelter for 12 people after earthquakes destroyed homes
Zack & Fernando with a gift for us from the village
Earthquake destroyed all homes in this village.... had it happened at night many more would have died.
Fernando, Luke and Gabe with the village kids
Breaking stuff is so fun... especially pinata's full of dulces!
Once they figured out dulces was in that pinata it was pure joy & chaos!
The little guy coming to give me my hug and say thank you...
Old dog… new tricks?
Life is full of lessons… even for us “old dogs”, God can teach us many new tricks. We have been here in Guatemala for only 5 days…. feels like 5 weeks. So much has happened and we have learned so much already. There is a certain arrogance that surrounds our culture. We think we are going to come into a country as missionaries and teach them better ways. Funny thing happens instead… they teach us VERY quickly what is wrong with our ‘better’ ways. Pretty much just about everything. We come in with plans… Our plans suck, for lack of a better word. Us arrogant Canadiense’s are brought to our knees within moments of being here. We truly don’t mean to be arrogant… we come here with the best of intentions…. but we get knocked down instantly, to their level… which quite frankly is above ours in so many ways.
If Guatemala had a better system of equality and Government they would be coming to Canada as missionaries to help us. Of that I have no doubt. They would teach us patience… they would teach us to trust in God and not in ourselves… They would teach us lessons that our brains need to learn. It has taken less than 5 days for us to be humbled beyond measure. God wanted to make sure we were in complete surrender before He made things the way He wanted them to be and not the way we had envisioned.
All the struggles of the past few days, of which I won’t go into detail but trust me they were bad… were necessary. Necessary to teach us a lesson that we honestly could not have learned any other way. We had that Canadian arrogance knocked right out of us and now we are truly ready to do what we came here to do… God’s way, not ours. We are so rushed in our lives. And I admit I am one of the most chaotic people around. Here, there is no such thing… everything moves at a relaxed, snails pace…. it’s so tough to get used to… especially when you are in need of something… like a place to live. We expect everything to be done NOW…. Not going to happen… no sense getting your blood pressure up. I swear people here don’t die much of stress induced illness… simply doesn’t exist. They don’t get stressed. Even the ones dying of malnutrition simply wait patiently for God to help them… Sure they do everything in their power to make things happen and at the same time they joyfully trust…. completely. They totally understand that they need Him… and His will be done.
We have a home that will be ready for us to move in on Tuesday. The location couldn’t be more perfect… less than a 1 minute walk to the hospital. More than we could have ever hoped for. We have some furnishings already… We have the basic necessities of life now… and we have each other. That is all we need. I will be learning to cook with wood, the Guatemalan way.. I will be learning to do laundry by hand, the Guatemalan way… I will be learning to shower with cold water, the Guatemalan way… And I will be teaching them some of our ways. Fernando’s family has given me the honour of preparing Christmas dinner… they want a traditional Canadian turkey dinner cooked in an oven that they have no idea how to use. They want to learn our way…. and in return they will teach me their way. What a wonderful exchange of lives taking place.
We have already experienced so much of the culture here… Beginning with the day we got here. Dec 7th… El Dia del Diablo. The day of the Devil. Its El diablo’s birthday and at 6:00 pm fires are lit everywhere to burn pinata images of the bad guy. They roast him and celebrate a new beginning to life in the ashes… they burn the bad guy and all he brings… he has no power here…. They won’t let him have any power over them. Out of such simple lives come such wisdom! What a beautiful symbolic ritual that has been carried on for centuries.
And so we carry on… with lessons learned… valuable ones that we will take home and carry with us the rest of our lives. Only 5 days in and already we are changed people. Makes me wonder in awe of what the next 5 months will bring….
A new beginning…. again…..
Today is a new day… it’s amazing what a good night of rest can do for the spirit. Everyone in the family woke up this morning feeling much more able to handle things. My blog of yesterday was negative. It was also short. Basically if I had written about everything that had gone wrong in the past 48 hours it would have been 12 pages long…. it was about much more than just hot water. Its amazing how one can just get hit over the head multiple times with bad things and still go on, but we are human and we can get pretty down just like everyone else when things become too much. Yesterday we felt weary and worn down though. It really took a lot out of us. Basically it was a disastrous beginning.
Today, I am saying was the official beginning! And what a beginning it was. Early this morning we were off to the Hospital Infantil Padre Pedro for a Christmas party. It was a ‘family reunion’ with all the children that had previously been rehabilitated at the hospital invited. We were shocked by the sheer number of people in attendance. Tears rose to my eyes as I saw Hermana Mercedes for the first time in almost a year. She was surrounded by the happy faces of the little children that are now alive because she took it upon herself to follow the will of God and serve here. Her and I shared a hug that had so much meaning behind it even though our spanish/english communication is still in its infancy. There are some moments that are just beyond words…..
Heading into the nursery for the first time in almost a year was unreal. Seeing all the children in their beds trying so desperately to get healthy breaks your heart. Around the corner in his special room was Marquito…. That boy is so incredibly special…. Rachel has worked so hard for this boy and on December 15th he will have the first surgery to reconstruct his face. It hit me as I held him and then again as Geoff was holding him and Marquito was laughing that without people like Rachel that precious boy would most likely have died. God put him on her heart and she did everything in her power to help him… and help him she did. I saw the proof with my own eyes… and heard his laughter with my own ears…. Amazing! After visiting the children, we shared lunch with the Monsignor of Guatemala, some other guests and Hermana Mercedes… The sisters prepared a very special lunch for their guests. They treat us like royalty here and we do not like it. We are here to serve them and yet they serve us so completely. It is so humbling…. It truly is about relationships here… and we have a family here, more so than we had ever realized before. That is a gift straight from God.
No matter what life throws at us here… we are ready for it. This is why we are here… and nothing, not even no water (today we not only have no hot water but no water at all) will ever get in the way of what God has us here to do! And on behalf of our family, we would like to thank everyone who is helping us financially… personally… prayerfully… etc. Without you beside us, none of this would be happening. We promise to stick it out and make the best of every moment and also be thankful for the privilege of getting to serve these wonderful people!
The Christmas Reunion Party at the Hospital
Fernando & Gabe
Geoff and Marquito
Me & Marquito
A wonderful traditional lunch
Luxury….
Well here we are… safe and sound in Guatemala. I cannot begin to express how strange I am feeling being here. We had plans. We should have known better…. hahaha. Things rarely work out the way we plan them. Normally I am really great at contingency plans. Being in a foreign country however has me feeling a tad paralyzed at the moment. I am more homesick than I have ever been in my entire life but I know that will pass and is mainly a product of the uncertainty that surrounds us right now.
It all began yesterday… flight delays and minor setbacks had us awake and on the go for basically 2 days with no sleep…. We got through it. Then upon arrival the hotel we had planned to be at the entire time we learned they changed the rules… seems they don’t want to play anymore. Missionaries or not they are ripping us off. Upon arrival it seems the price more than tripled. That is not acceptable but despite our original agreement they won’t budge. So we are at a different hotel for the time being. A very different hotel without any frills. It’s ok… hot water is a Canadian luxury after all right? I am preparing mentally for 6 months here and I know I can do it. It won’t be easy… but it is what it is. We are looking right now at homes to rent. Perhaps we can find one but if we don’t then we simply deal with what we have and be thankful. It’s already leaps and bounds beyond what most Guatemalan people have.
Isn’t it funny how we can be missionaries and still be totally mortified at the thought of no hot water for months…. Makes me stop and re-think my priorities. As much as I hate to admit it, I want hot water! But why? Do I deserve it more than others here? No…. but I still want it. A part of me deep down sort of hopes that we perhaps don’t find a house… and that I live without this luxury… as a learning experience about myself and how far I am willing to sacrifice. I guess I am also worried about the volunteers that will be coming. How will they react if we are still in this hotel? It is no-frills… but it is safe…. it has beds… it is clean… it is totally all we could ever need…. but…. will they be happy… will they be upset? Crazy that I am thinking that…. and worrying… after all… isn’t this whole experience all about sacrifice? If you are a volunteer and you are coming…. prepare yourself… this could be more than you bargained for… but while I cannot promise hot water… I can promise an experience you will never ever forget!!!
…Priceless….
9 days and counting…. My next blog will be brought to you from El Progreso, Guatemala…. Unreal!!! Preparing for Guatemala has been draining…. It has taken every fibre of our strength to get through these past few months. Guatemala has seemed more far away than ever during this time. Buried under our lives here and the mountains of paperwork and things that go into big time fundraising. I guess I was not prepared… I kind of went into this blind. Some of the time we have felt very alone in all of this and that is hard to take.
When you believe in something so strongly, its mentally draining to work so hard to try and make people understand…. but one simply must accept that not everyone see’s things the way you do. I have seen… and it has changed my life… Some people who haven’t seen simply don’t understand. I guess I see the world through different eyes because of my experiences over the past years. Once you figure that out you can relax and not let disappointments rule you. You learn to celebrate the triumphs and let the failures roll off your back in a sense.
Through all of this I have felt very overwhelmed… especially by the life change I am about to endure. I am no saint… I am a normal person…. a woman with feelings, wants and desires like everyone else. There are times I simply don’t want this life. I see people with nice homes and cars and I almost mourn the loss of that stuff…. I’ve been struggling at times lately. I find myself more ‘weepy’ than normal… a bit more on edge. I was terrified. To be honest more often than not I found myself thinking.. “how the heck did I get here? Stop the ride, I wanna get off.”
Through all of this… I have talked with people… Friends both old and new…. Through these conversations I have been re-inspired. While I’m not in Guatemala just yet, and they seem very far away…. I have experienced community like never before. I have come to the realization that this is such a gift to us. As strange as this sounds, its not just about Guatemala… It is about people. People there AND people here. I have learned so much through all of this. We have a ministry… and so many people have thrown themselves into this beside us…. the people we serve in Guatemala will be well cared for…. But I have learned that WE will be cared for as well!!! Its no longer us having a ministry… but being a part of a ministry and that includes us being ministered to. It’s so hard to explain….
This past week we had both a fundraising dinner and a concert by NEWWORLDSON. Planning the dinner was insane. Details, paperwork, phone calls… epic amounts of planning. Our friend Dave Tebbutt put the entire concert together so that was something thanks to him, we could just pretty much relax and attend. One puts so much emphasis on the raising of money you become fixated on numbers. Its a tough thing because Guatemala cannot happen without money. But we have learned these past weeks that its NOT about the money. It NEVER was about the money. It’s about people. Here and there!!!
There are people… key people… and you know who you are, and if you do not then I have failed at telling you how important you are to me and I am sorry…. but key people who have taught me over the past weeks and months how much I am loved and that is incredibly priceless… for that I will be forever grateful. I love you… every one of you… and I have learned so much from you about what it means to be RADICAL in my faith and standing up for what I believe in even when it gets hard and overwhelming. I am not missing out on ‘stuff’… I am the lucky one… I have people who love me!
The minister of Calvary Church prayed over our family last night after the concert. Something that was fairly new to us… complete with laying on of hands etc. I cannot explain what an incredible moment that was for our entire family. It was a pure gift from God and one of the most powerful moments in my life. God was there in that room last night… and He, through everyone there last night renewed my strength at a time I needed it most. I can go now… because it is what is right. I have finally surrendered…. and there is a peace in that beyond measure.
Looking out over a crowd of people at the concert last night was an amazing experience for me and my entire family. Looking into the faces of everyday people… some family… some friends… some strangers was so surreal. The gentle smiles we saw spoke volumes to us. These people, especially the ones we know were there because of love. Love for us… love for what we stand for… love for each other and love for strangers thousands of miles away that need them. Recently, it made me think of a quote I had put as my facebook status just a few days ago… “Stand up for what you believe in, even if you are standing alone.”…. The most beautiful privilege I get to have during this adventure is that I now know and understand that I never have to stand alone again… and that is worth more than anything.
Extra ordinarily weird….
Whew… I am actually making time to write… that’s different… Lately I’ve been going crazy trying to get ready to depart for Guatemala on what I believe will be the adventure of a lifetime…. 6 weeks and counting. So much to wrap up in such a short time!! Its not easy and there are so many details that I honestly can say I’ve never felt this out of control of my life, in my life. I’ve been pretty stressed, not going to lie. Im exhausted, overwhelmed, stressed and feeling stretched quite frankly to my breaking point. But despite all that, deep down I am still more joyful that I can describe. I can honestly say I have a peace deep within myself about all of this. Even the parts I am fearful of have made me peaceful. I know Geoff feels the same way. The prospect of transferring ownership of our business hit him hard this past week. As much as we know its the right decision for us, its still closing a chapter of our lives, especially his. But yet there is even a peace about that, despite the uncertainty it brings. So much in our future is uncertain now and I cannot begin to describe how scary and yet peaceful that is.
I have met with some resistance from family and friends lately. Some are just plain annoyed about our fundraising… Some are supportive but treat me differently…. like someone who just bumped their head… they look at me like I’m weird… Some just don’t ‘get it’. They have no real understanding of why on earth we would walk away from so much in order to walk into a life of service. Guess its hard for me to explain… At times I don’t ‘get it’…. so how can I ask others to understand. All I know is going to Guatemala is something we have to do…. so we are going to do it….
We aren’t special, we are ordinary… as a matter of fact sometimes I feel we are boring… extra ordinary actually…. And then it hit me… ordinary people can be extra ordinary and still, with help, do extraordinary things!!! And yet I have fear… fear of inadequacy… fear of being extra ordinary…. fear that people won’t get it and we won’t raise money and it will all fail…. But I know that things will be as they should be and how God wants them because we are taking the leap of faith. Fear and peace and joy can live hand in hand in the greatest of oxymorons…. It all just feels weird at times and I guess that explains why people look at me like I’m weird… because I am!
Speaking of weird, I read a book recently…. “Weird” by Craig Groeschel. This book spoke to me in ways that not many books have recently. It defined in black and white so much of what I’ve been feeling lately, plus taught me so much. Thanks Mr. Groeschel for writing this book! I honestly recommend it to people… buy it, read it… It’s such a refreshing take on things! One chapter leapt out at me in particular… talking about money and being rich. Do you perceive yourself as rich? I know I don’t see myself as such. Regularly I find myself complaining about money and lack thereof. I have debt, I have a mortgage, I don’t live in a mansion, far from it actually… It never seems like I have enough money. I know I’m not alone in feeling this way. But as Mr. Groeschel points out, “If we’re honest, most of us are doing okay. We complain about money and what we can’t afford even as we are watching cable tv on our hi def tv’s, eating hot delivered pizza that we ordered on our iPhone.” Think about it, how rich are we? Especially when we compare ourselves to the more than 1/2 of the world that lives on less in one year than we spend on that cable tv?? Puts things in a perspective I myself had never thought of …. Mr. Groeschel asks us to imagine what someone from a developing country like Guatemala, living in the mountains with 12 people, in a one room adobe house with a dirt floor might say:
“There are some people who are so rich, they own a car! It’s not a lot of people, of course. I read it’s only 3 to 5 percent of people in the world who own a car. But some people in the world are so rich, they have TWO cars! Some of these people even have a house for their cars! It’s called a garage, and it’s like a little house to protect their cars from the elements! You know what else they do? These rich people, they get in their cars, and they drive past twenty or more food places – they call them restaurants – and they’re so rich that they pay other people to make their food and serve it to them! That’s how rich they are.
“Some of these rich people eat so much food in so many restaurants that they get fat but keep eating more and more. Then they have to go to these places called gyms, and they pay people to help them exercise! That’s how rich they are.
“Some of these rich people have special rooms at home called closets. This little room inside their house is just for their clothes! Nobody sleeps in there – only clothes on hangers and shelves like in a store. Some people are so rich, they even have one big clothes room for the man and one for the woman. So many clothes, some for cold, some for hot, some for work, and some for church. It’s crazy! That’s how rich people live.”
After reading this I realized that I am rich. Its me that Jesus is talking about when he talks about it being easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than a rich man to enter Heaven. It’s not some obscure billionaire sitting in his mansion counting his money…. Its ME! I have been born into a rich society… and it is my duty to share my riches with those that have nothing. Its MY responsibility…. its what I believe to the core of my being…. its what makes me weird…. its what motivates me to raise awareness… to fundraise… to encourage people to come to Guatemala… I won’t apologize for that. I guess I have accepted that I am a weird extra ordinary rich person who prays can be used to do extraordinary things…. How weird is that?
New dreams…..
Life is crazy sometimes…. especially my life, or so people tell me… there is so much chaos that surrounds me and my family so much of the time that I sometimes feel like I can’t breathe. I turned 43 a couple days ago. People ask me, “Do you feel older?”…. I do not feel older. I feel like an 18 year old trapped in this body that is just beginning to feel the tell-tale aches and pains that come with aging. But other than those aches… I feel great. I do however feel as unstable as an 18 year old. BIG, HUGE, MONUMENTAL changes in the Doppenberg household…..
We are slowly over the next 2 months phasing ourselves out of our roofing business…. the business that has treated us well over the past 15 years… the business that puts food on our table… the business that pays our mortgage… the business that supports us and our part of our youth/young adult & Guatemala ministry…. There are many reasons why Geoff & I have decided to make this decision…. the greatest reason is that we just have this overwhelming feeling that it is time. Time for us to do more… time for us to help more…. time for us to serve more…. time for us to make a drastic change in our lives and having the company just takes too much time away from what we feel we are called to do…. We will make money to support our ministries but so much time will be free to spend on the things that are most important to us.
I am scared… out of my mind to be honest…. There is so much uncertainty. I do not know what the future holds for us, but I am excited. I know that there is a plan for our lives and the more we surrender and follow that plan the more things seem to fall into place. Since making this decision so many things have happened that show us we are making the right decision. I am not sure where life will take us now with it’s twists and turns but I am willing to hang on and enjoy the ride!
We have been invited to a special party in Guatemala… a party of all the rehabilitated children and their parents from the Nutrition Hospital. A party that will show us what the result is when people care enough to send money, pray, serve and take an interest in a little hospital which is a tiny speck of need in the big picture of this planet. Hermana Mercedes writes often and tells how much they are looking forward to us coming, spending time with them, especially Christmas. I cannot describe how much we are looking forward to this and how much of a privilege we consider it to be able to serve these amazing Hermana’s and the sick children. This is what it’s all about isn’t it?
For us there are no more dreams of big homes and fancy cars. That part of our lives is behind us…. for us there are new dreams of equality…. No more can we eat a meal and feel nothing when throwing left overs away… We are mindful of every mouthful. Every penny we spend has a purpose now. Gone are the days of ignoring what we have seen…. we cannot ignore anymore. We just finished our fall newsletter… it is ready to be mailed in the next week or so. Inside is a budget. A budget to run a better hospital in Guatemala. One that uses the facility to its greatest potential. One that strives to encourage people to consider giving…. If everyone lived on one less Starbucks a day that would enable a hospital that rehabilitates 200 malnourished kids a year to be well on the way to rehabilitating 1000. In the pre-release of our newsletter, those that saw it grew quiet and their eyes grew wide when they saw our goal of raising just over $100,000.00 for the year 2011/2012. Is that really a lot of money to completely run & renovate a hospital? Money that would enable them to serve hundreds more children. How many desperately ill children would $100,000.00 help in a Canadian or US hospital? Not even one most likely…. Sad reality… but true.
I embrace the chaos that my life has become…. and I do it because I have built relationships with the people of Guatemala and that has made me realize things. The very people I serve have become a huge part of my heart and soul. They have become family. I realized that I am no better than them…. we are all equal… and the fact that I was born in an area of the world with more than enough makes me want to even the score. I can share… even when that means I get less so they can have more….my parents raised me that way. Jesus tells me that is the way…. and I am going to follow that path head on! When I look at the big brown eyes of the starving children in Guatemala, I cannot help but think of my own brown eyed boys and say to myself, “If this was my child, how far would I go to save them?….”
Billy & Celia
Baby Daryl
This little girl is now rehabilitated!
Bring it……
This blog is going to be a bit different…. We have been asked lots of questions in the past while and Geoff & I thought it would be a good idea to answer some… Please, if you ever have any questions please don’t ever hesitate to ask and we shall do our best to answer. Firstly let me say that all these answers are my (and Geoff’s) humble opinion based on our lives…. I cannot answer based on generalities or what is right and wrong… I can only answer based on our personal experiences, thoughts and feelings….
Question: If the people of Guatemala are going to die at a young age & the harsh government won’t change, why do you help them? And if there may be no hope for their life to be long, and they cannot impact the world, why do it at all? Tell me specifically why you do it?
For us, helping the people of Guatemala is much more than just helping. We know and understand that there are many people locally that need help. We have chosen to help locally through youth and young adult ministry. We are both youth leaders and also spend a vast amount of time with young adults in our community. For me personally it is something that I take very seriously and encourage all ages to serve whether it be local or global. I hesitate to use the word ‘mentor’… It is a word I dislike very much…. it eludes to the fact that I know more than those that are younger… I can assure you I do not. I am a friend… someone to walk alongside and share in the triumphs and tragedies of life with. I learn as much from those younger as they learn from me. They are not jaded and they are idealistic and hopeful and bright and young…. Keeps me grounded and young at heart! Being able to include youth and young adults into our Guatemala ministry is something that I feel is priceless. There are lessons that can only be learned by seeing first hand the conditions some people that share our planet live in. Its humbling and it helps us, born into a prosperous society, learn to appreciate what we have and hopefully gain the desire to ‘share the wealth’ through love.
When it comes to Guatemala… our work & family ties here in Canada are such that we can go global where many cannot. We are in a position to ‘GO’. There are millions around the world that need help and if everyone in prosperous nations stayed local nothing would ever change. Perhaps the people of Guatemala and countries like it may die young…. and the government may always remain corrupt… but does that mean that we should just walk away and do nothing? Should we let those that have no voice starve to death without a chance? Are they not human beings created in God’s image just like us? Are their lives worth any less than those in Canada or the USA, or Europe? Here there are advocacy groups for everything…. if you have a problem in Canada there is a government that is there to help. Local ministries are everywhere and for many people that is their ministry. Our system may not be perfect, but I can guarantee you that its leaps and bounds better than in the developing world. As I said, there are so many people that want to help others but cannot go global… we can, so we do. We are trying to give a voice to a small portion of the world that has none.
Who says there is no hope for anyone’s life? As a passionate believer in Christ I believe that everyone matters…. everyone has a purpose… and if hope feels lost to some it is our commissioning by Jesus to bring hope to the hopeless. As far as I am concerned Jesus commanded us to love one another as He loves us. Basically thats why we do what we do… we love people… all people… regardless of where they live on this planet. I know if I need help, I want people to come love me… and I am no different from anyone else… no more special… and quite frankly if I was in need I would be begging for help from anyone who would listen, no matter where they live.
Which brings me to the next part of the above question…. people all over the world die young… as a matter of fact my last blog about Arlynne celebrated a young life that was lost to an accident just days past her 16th birthday. Did she not matter because she was young? Did she not impact the world? I would say based on the things I’ve read in our little community lately, her impact was HUGE! I think people get very lost and over think the whole world impact thing… To me if you make a difference in the life of one person on this planet you have greatly impacted the world. Its a ripple effect. You may never see or understand how you impacted that life, nor how that person will go on to fulfill their purpose… but I guarantee you its there. Sometimes it may be that by the mere act of serving someone in Guatemala, their impact might be right back on the life of the person who did the serving. A while ago I blogged about a precious young Guatemalan boy Estuardo who at age 17 lay in a crib, unable to move, speak or communicate in any way. By serving the Hospital Infantil I served him… and that boy that some would call hopeless and without ability to impact the world, rocked the world of my whole family… me especially. He changed my life, my outlook, strengthened my faith and made me change to love people better and solidified my belief that God was calling me into Guatemala to serve. I’d say he had a huge impact on my life… and thus through the ripple effect, the world. Who knows if he impacted others that I have told, strangers that read my blog… etc… Estuardo died young just as Arlynne did… but both of those beautiful young people had a profound effect on my world. See where Im going here? Basically, I can sum it up in Paul’s words to Timothy….
1Timothy 4:12 “ Do not let anyone treat you as if you are unimportant because you are young. Instead be an example to the believers with your words, your actions, your love, your faith, and your purity.”.… Young or old, we can all make a difference, bring hope, healing, love and hope through Christ who is our strength.
To get to the bottom of why we do it…. that is a bit tougher to explain… For me its like the song “Awakening”… My soul was awakened in Guatemala. My family has served in many different places…. We have served as close to home as the Southridge shelter and as far away as Alaska & New Orleans. But no where captured us like Guatemala… We all felt it instantly there. My entire family is on the same page with this… and trust me that is rare in any family…. In Guatemala, something deep within all of us just felt, right. That sounds lame but its true. Our eldest son Zack said it best…. “I really feel God here”. I don’t know if any of that makes sense… its hard to explain a ‘calling’ unless you’ve found yours… Its a totally personal thing… a feeling… a peace with your decision that normally is elusive.
Question: If I decide to support your ministry in Guatemala, where does my money go?
If God puts it upon your heart to partner with us financially either through a one time special gift, or a monthly partnership, first of all thank you from the bottom of our hearts and from the people we serve in Guatemala. 100% of your special gift or monthly partnership goes to the people of Guatemala. All of our personal expenses are paid by us at this time. Your money goes toward food, supplies, medicine, medical care/operations & construction materials for the Hospital Infantil Padre Pedro malnutrition centre in El Progreso & the Mayan people of the mountains in the surrounding area of Jutiapa/Jalapa. If you would like your money to go to something specific all you have to do is drop us a note and we will see that its taken care of. We send money every month to Fernando & Sister Mercedes with specific instructions of where to apply some of it and the rest where she deems the most urgent need.
Question: I want to come and serve with you, how much would it cost and what will I be doing?
If you feel the pull to come and serve alongside us, all we can say again is thank you and drop us a note so we can talk further. We love having people of all ages share this experience with us! The cost will vary depending on the length of stay, whether 1 or 2 weeks. Therefore I can’t really answer that in specifics. Basically, you are responsible for your own flight so the money you pay to us will cover food and accommodations & money for a project. Included in the money you would pay is money to fund a project of your choice… something that you can decide once you get there. We have found that everyone reacts differently to what they see in Guatemala. Perhaps you will meet a family in need and God will put it on your heart to help them specifically or perhaps one of the children in the hospital will touch you and you would like to fund medicines for them. The possibilities are endless and the choice will be yours once you are there!
We have found, in our experience that there are 2 types of short term mission trips. One kind is geared toward spreading the Gospel to the unbelieving nations, planting Churches etc and another is geared toward helping those in need and living out the Gospel in a believing nation. Since Guatemala is a very Christian nation our trip is geared toward help. Expect to work, and work hard. Painting, minor construction, cleaning, helping carry adobe bricks, cooking, loving, feeding and playing with kids are all on the agenda daily. We typically take 1 day a week for sightseeing so visitors can see some of the area (and perhaps go zip-lining if you are brave), 1 day a week to visit mountain villages to hand out toys, supplies and love some people and play with some kids (this is my favorite part… those villages are my Disneyland). We spend time at Church on Sunday, and visiting Fernando’s family for a genuine Guatemalan lunch. All evenings are spent however you wish… together talking about the day together or alone to journal and rest, it is up to you. Guatemala is the land of “Eterna Primavera” (Eternal Spring), meaning the weather is some of the best I’ve ever experienced… Warm & sunny (but not too hot) during the day and very cool at night. If you are expecting a vacation, go to Mexico and lay in the sun. We share everything on the trip… and that includes work, cooking, cleaning, triumphs and tragedies… I mean everything! This is not going to be a vacation but I can tell you it will be hard work, fun and an experience you will never forget.
So, to wrap this up, basically all I can say is to love people… local, global, near, far, friend, enemy… just simply love them. Go serve or if you cannot go, partner with those that can … serve along side them, however that looks, and wherever that may be. Bring hope… bring comfort, bring food, bring shelter, bring money, bring prayer… just bring it in His name….
I can only imagine…
Sometimes I am shocked at how difficult life can be…. I am writing this blog with a heavy heart, from my car… traveling home through the Canadian Prairies… while at home a funeral is going on… a funeral I should be at but cannot make… My family & I left home just over a week ago on our way to Western Canada for a couple of weeks to visit some friends throughout Alberta & then off to Northwest Territories to see a young adult from Southridge in Yellowknife. About 1/2 way through our drive we couldn’t find a room… severe flooding in the mid-west had all the hotels full… the night got later and later.. at 2am my phone rang. No call at 2am is good news…. Actually Im not sure if there is anything more dreaded than a 2am phone call…. Before you even answer your heart begins to beat fast… its just the knowledge that something very, very bad is about to be known…. One of our best friends Dave was on the other line when Geoff answered… then bam… the news… one of my youth girls, Arlynne Holyer, who had just turned 16 a few days before, had been killed in an ATV accident. She was in the far north of Ontario on a ministry trip for the summer. Earlier that day she had been out on an ATV delivering flyers to people inviting them to attend a bible study. Details are not needed… bottom line, she was out serving God and she died. Sounds harsh, but that is the bottom line. I will say, the news struck me speechless. I had just emailed her… for her recent birthday… telling her how proud I was of her… Now she was gone? I thought instantly of her family… as a mom, my heart broke instantly… We continued to drive…. I cried quietly, I prayed, Geoff prayed…. what do we do, do we turn around and go home? Do we carry on? My boys were quiet… very quiet…. all the youth at Southridge take a very active part in the life of my boys… All part of the “It takes a village to raise a child” ideal… they all are so great with my boys and they know most of the youth very well… tragedy hits them too… very hard… At 4am we finally found a room… Out of sheer exhaustion we all slept. In the morning Geoff and I talked and both felt that we should carry on. There were people counting on us out West too, and somehow we just felt deep down that we were supposed to carry on.
Basically I cried quietly inside and out several times this trip…. I didn’t understand why I had to be so far from home when my other youth girls at home would need me and quite frankly I needed them just as much. After a short time in the Rockies it was clear why God wanted me to carry on. I needed the time to grieve.. my way…. to get myself in order before attempting to help anyone else. One afternoon we stopped at a very beautiful place on Medicine Lake. The boys wanted to hike and swim. I decided to stay behind and I just sat on a rock for 2 hours alone, staring at the mountains. I cried, I prayed, I reflected and I got angry…. I felt God there, holding me when I cried and listening when I was angry… I felt peace come over me finally. It was then that I felt it was time to cut the trip short and go home to my youth family. So with heavy heart but inner peace, we cancelled all the rest of our visits, postponed Yellowknife for a while and began our trek home.
I’ve had so much time to think on this trip it isn’t funny. Hours and hours in the car… hours of reflection on the mountains… its been an amazing journey. Arlynne’s death weighs heavy on my heart but I rest easy in the comfort of knowing she is with God. I sat one day in the car and re-read 2 years of text & facebook conversations between me and her… Our relationship was a complicated one. Arlynne of 2 years ago was nothing like Arlynne now. I have to admit, 2 years ago, she drove me crazy. She was kind, thoughtful and loving, but defiant, rebellious, strong willed, stubborn, and dramatic . But there was a beauty inside of her that kept me trying so hard with her. I was very drawn to her instantly. If I am to be truthful, I would say that she reminded me so much of myself at her age… Over the past year, Arlynne grew up… she found her faith and her passion for God.. She served and she worshipped with everything she had… She laughed, she smiled and she danced with a beauty that I will never forget. I will always picture her dancing her heart out to “Happy Day” at youth. I think it was after she left my group that our relationship blossomed into a mutual love and respect for each other. I think then she could stop seeing me as an authority figure of sorts and begin to see me as a friend who loved her. She began to talk with me differently, better… more real and honest. I will miss her… her huge smile bounding toward me every Sunday at Church… the huge hugs every time we saw each other… hearing her giggle during winter retreat… the random texts… the talks, the everything…. I have to say, watching her grow over the past 2 years has been a privilege I will cherish forever.
Watching the different youth communities, from afar, band together through this tragedy has been a thing of beauty. They have all been there for each other and have now committed to carrying on Arlynne’s passion to serve others in the name of God. I am so truly proud of all of you… loving one another through this! I personally do not believe God caused Arlynne’s death… I don’t believe God is there with his cosmic lightning bolt picking and choosing who dies… but I do believe that God knew it was going to happen, and wrapped us all in that ‘blanket of grace’ that Bob spoke to me about a few weeks ago (see previous blog) and fills us with His presence so we can feel peace. His ways are beyond our understanding and that is so hard sometimes but He is there to help us through times like these! He is ever faithful!
One major thing Arlynne’s life and death has taught me is that these young people are such an integral part of my life. I love them… fiercely! I would fight for any of them with every fibre of my being…. I need them, just as much as they need me… They are a huge part of my family, and I feel so honoured to have the privilege of watching them grow up and walk beside them through their tragedies and triumphs! There is no question that youth is my ministry… and I love how God has partnered that into our vision for Guatemala. My life is so amazing that I get to serve both youth and the people of Guatemala together and intertwined at times. My one regret is that Arlynne will not be joining us in Guatemala this year as she had hoped to… but she will be there in my heart and the hearts of the other youth that will be joining us there to serve.
One of my favorite songs is … I can only imagine….
“I can only imagine what it will be like, when I walk by Your side… what my eyes will see, when Your Face is before me!…. Surrounded by Your Glory, what will my heart feel? Will I dance for you Jesus? Or in awe of You, be still? Will I stand in Your presence, or to my knees will I fall? Will I sing “Hallelujah”? Will I be able to speak at all? I can only imagine….. I can only imagine….”
…. and I imagine Arlynne dancing…. dancing like she did every youth service!!! Godspeed Arlynne… my newest twinkling star in the sky… thank you for all that you did for me and others…. dance on in paradise beautiful… for you it really is a “Happy Day”…. I love you … xoxo
Arlynne at winter retreat last year ❤
Most of my girls... my original life group 2 yrs ago. Olivia, Breanna, Rylee, Arlynne, Amanda, Rose, Ali, Me, Rachel & Cyeira laying across everyone lol... Love you all ❤
The Incident…..
Its been a little bit since I’ve had the time to actually sit down and write…. it’s funny how busy life can get. My boys are home for the summer… and I love that. It’s a part of what I love so much about our time in Guatemala, family time. We spend every waking moment together there and it seems without much in the way of bickering. Life here in the Canada Doppenberg world is different. Seems the more we have, the more discontent we can become. Living simple in Guatemala strips us of that feeling of discontent and our world just spins so much better.
I had the privilege of visiting Bob a week ago. Bob was in Guatemala at the same time as us last year and we got to know him quite well. Shortly after his trip to Guatemala Bob was involved in what he calls… “The Incident”. The incident was no less than a circumstance that took him from a healthy, newly retired man with dreams of full time mission work to a quadriplegic in a matter of seconds. His life was completely altered by one fateful wave in a very powerful ocean. Its been months since the “incident” and this was the first time I had opportunity to visit him in ICU where he remains indefinitely. His injury was very complete… his neck broken and he will be on a ventilator for the rest of his life on top of his inability to move. He normally tires after speaking for a few minutes but during this visit he was able to speak with passion, and strength for over 2 hours as he told me a story. I won’t go into detail of his story here, as I could never do it justice and it is my prayer that someday Bob will leave ICU, return home and be able to tell others his ‘story’ in his own words as it was meant to be told. Suffice it to say that by the end of his tale I was in tears… tears of awe… at the power and strength of the human spirit when it is filled with God. Bob refers to his incident as such because he said with God, there is no accidents…. God has a plan for Bob… this is part of that plan as difficult as it may be for us to accept… it is a beautiful plan none the less and I feel it was a gift directly from God to me to have heard it at a time I really needed to hear it.
I had been in a funk of sorts before my visit with Bob. I was questioning everything. Feeling very sorry for myself… Guatemala seemed so far away and the calling that my family feels was distant to me. There was so much work to be done here to put this ministry into full motion and the vision we had became buried under paperwork and worldly rhetoric and what I felt to be simply crazy at times. I had lost focus and become discouraged. Not anymore! God refreshed me through Bob… Basically slapped me upside the head and told me to suck it up and remember why I am being called to do this and exactly BY WHOM Im being called. Trust me when I say, its a humbling experience to be slapped up the head like this by your Creator in such a blatant fashion.
Now word has come from Guatemala… Heavy rains, much worse than other years are devastating the area of Jutiapa. The area has such urgent need right now because of the rain. Fernando & his family have asked for prayer as things are becoming more and more dangerous every moment. At the hospital Marquito continues to be on medication in preparation for surgery soon. There are as of yesterday 15 sick, malnourished children being cared for at the Hospital Infantil Padre Pedro. That number could increase dramatically as the rains continue to make food and work even more scarce in the mountains. There are 25 young girls living and studying there. When you add the Hermana’s (sister’s) into that mix there are approximately 50 people living there right now! That is a huge number and they are desperate for food, medicine and supplies. This always puts things into perspective for me as well…. Imagine living with 50 others, some of whom are very ill and not having the money, nor resources to care for any. That is a scary place to be. This is what makes me sit and push through that paperwork I find myself so buried under for the ministry. It is no longer rhetoric or crazy… it is a lifeline for people… a voice for those that are screaming but are not heard by most. God is magnifying those screams, using my family and people in our ministry to do so…. and will continue to do so until they are heard.
Money is a funny thing…. so necessary in our work and yet something we have, up until this point had a very hard time asking for. I always played down the need for money in our ministry… I was always afraid of making people feel guilty. But I am beginning to understand the concept in the world of the missionary of the “Go’er” and the “Sender”. We are willing to ‘go’… but unless there are those that are willing to ‘send’ nothing will happen. People are always looking for ways to help but cannot go…. what they don’t realize is that they can send! Since meeting with Bob, hearing his story, doing some major internal thinking and reflection, I am renewed in my energy do whatever is necessary to Go. It has nothing to do with guilt, and if people feel guilty, that is their own internal struggle. This is about something much bigger than guilt… It is about the privilege of being able to be a part of something big that God is doing in the world. Our first major mail out is sitting in front of me on the table. We have plowed through the paperwork and this afternoon the fruits of our efforts of the past weeks will be sent. The mail out that makes us vulnerable, puts our family out there and tells people we are willing to “Go”…. We pray now that God touches hearts and that there are many that are willing to “Send” because the stakes are very high and lives depend on it…. But as my tag line above says, “if our God is with us, then what could stand against?…” and I truly believe that with all my heart and soul. God Bless & please continue to pray for the people of Guatemala during this harsh rainy season.
A little one being fed at the Hospital Infantil
A group of kids at dinner time
Part of our team in 2011 spending a morning on the mountain with Bob who is seated in the left bottom of the picture in the gray sweatshirt.
The Doppenberg's in Guatemala.... 