With fresh eyes…..
Greetings from Sunny & Warm Guatemala. Happy New Year to each and every one of you! I sit here once again in a t-shirt and shorts (sorry to those in the North). The winds have finally arrived and the oppressive heat seems to have finally gone. It is my favourite time of year here. Warm, breezy days, cool, windy nights. You actually get to use one of the many blankets I have crocheted while watching tv. Its wonderful. New Years Eve here in “little Canada” is very quiet in comparison to the rest of this wild, party country. We sit and attempt to make it to midnight and then we hug, kiss, cheers and peer out over our balcony to watch the show that unfolds in the form of some of the most spectacular (and loud) fireworks. We are notoriously quiet here. Everyone knows ‘little Canada’. If you are visiting and stray out for a walk and get lost, a question to anyone where “Canada” is will be greeted with a smile and some directions (maybe even a guide escort) to our house. While everyone else was partying, we were sitting, playing board games and chatting about the past year… and our future.
The past year was a tough one for me. I am not going to lie about that. My blog has gone from being a personal journal of my thoughts, hopes and fears to being heavily edited. I have changed my style because I know others are reading. This seems foreign to me and I honestly did not enjoy writing it anymore. I didn’t like thinking I had to ‘censor myself’ so as not to offend or make anyone reading feel uncomfortable. To watch my word count because some say I am too long winded and write too much…. As you may have noticed, this resulted in me writing a heck of a lot less. My heart just wasn’t in it anymore. In talking with my boys on New Years Eve I realized that I have been wrong. I should not feel the need to censor myself. It’s my blog and I want to write. I need to write. But I need to do it my way, including how long I want. So, my ‘resolution’ of sorts is to go back to writing. My way. If it makes a reader feel uncomfortable then so be it. I am uncomfortable almost every day of my life and I don’t think its necessarily a bad thing. I think its through those moments we learn and grow as human beings.
So… I am back…. And I’m going to take a bit of time to tell you about my year. One of the best, but most difficult. Please be advised that after telling you of the good, I am going to cover some of the bad… if you want to stop reading I will understand…..
First, the good…..
We had the privilege of meeting and making some amazing new friends this past year. God brings people into our lives it seems when we most need them. We are thankful… always…..
We also had the privilege of building 2 new schools this year… One in “our” village of El Salitrillo and one in the lower village of Moran. El Salitrillo school is grades 1-6 and is such a huge blessing upon all. The school in Moran is a pre-school and will be opening in just a few short weeks!!! Exciting for us and a HUGE blessing for the people, especially the children. Guatemala has cut funding for most pre-schools and we are doing a study that plans to follow these kids through to grade 6. We hope to have solid data that can prove to the government here that pre-school (our kindergarten) is necessary and helps children prep for later school life. The alternative here is to have these little ones work… and so often the families get used to them working so much so that they don’t end up putting them in school at all. Potential doctors etc. never have a shot…. Elias is one such child. He is 14 now and is absolutely hands down one of the most brilliant kids I have ever met…. But his family needed him to work so he has never attended school. I swear this boy might have the key to something huge locked inside his head on that lonely mountain….. makes me sad.
Our Community Empowerment Program thrived in 2015. So many families received education, nutritious plants and seeds, solar lights and water filtration systems. We are seeing the benefits of this every day…. The people are healthier and that is what we came here for! Many of the people in our Community Empowerment also received Solar Powered Audio Bibles thanks to Galcom. We look forward to their return this year to hand out more. The people here consider these audio Bibles to be one of their most prized possessions and now, every time we go to a village we are greeted with people walking around listening to them. Its such an amazing thing to have helped not only the people’s physical state but their Spiritual as well.
Dental Clinics thanks to Dr Laszlo and his team…. What more can I say…. Years of hard work has truly made a difference…. STIMMA the medical team…. I can’t say anything more about that either. All this hard work in both medical and dental have truly saved lives. Priceless…..
Various individuals and teams like Ridley College have also helped us make huge strides in 2015. Individuals and teams working selflessly to help us reach our goals… and more importantly help the people have hope.
Our “School of Hope” began in 2015 and has now become a huge focus of our mission. A school for special needs kids…. But also, a centre for people to come who have need… whatever that need is…. There will be an office there… with a middle aged housewife sitting in it (me)…. And from there my family and the people that believe in us and what we do, will try to help them. It’s a dream come true for us…. And we truly believe this place will help change lives for the better.
If I have neglected to mention something or someone I am sorry. It is not my intention to leave anyone or anything out. I want to say that without each and every one of you we could not do one thing…. We love you and we are thankful for you… So many good things have come this year, they are just too numerous to mention each and every one….
Through all of this joy…. And so much more than I could ever write about…. There has been pain. Pain enough for me to literally want to throw in the towel.
A very young girl… and one I am very close to in one of our villages was raped. As I drove up the mountain in the night with a friend from the medical field and my husband, I was shaking so hard I could barely function. Geoff waited outside as myself and my female friend went into the home to chat with the girl… things I never thought I would have to ask anyone, ever, swirled through my head. As my dear young one threw herself into my arms and sobbed uncontrollably I could actually feel my heart not only break, but shatter almost completely. She is so young… so small… so fragile….. Her father had told Zack about the rape earlier that day, and asked him to tell me…. Zack talked with the dad…. Making sure that he was not going to kill the man that raped his little daughter…. Retribution is common here since there is no formal law help. The dad admitted he and his brothers had discussed killing the man but decided that God wouldn’t want that…. The man who raped this poor girl has no idea how close he came to death…. I thank my son for taking the time to talk to his friend and make sure that no more pain would come of this horrific event.
Apparently it had happened a week before and this young, tiny girl had already tried to commit suicide. So the father who was trying his best to keep this secret had turned to me for help with her. I decided to go up the mountain that very night with my female medical friend to examine her and see what we could do to help her mental state.
I remember travelling up the mountain praying… praying for the right words to come… praying for strength to help this poor little girl…. When I was young I went through something very similar to her and it was from that experience I was able to draw strength and try to help her feel not so alone. The culture here is very specific on this…. She is damaged now… she feels it deep into her bones and knows that if this ever came to light she would have trouble ever getting a husband. So sad…. There is no help… there is no calling the police… there is no therapy for her to help her…. There was only me. A white woman from a foreign country dragging along a virtual stranger to examine her and try to console her….. I knew this poor girl was so fragile and if I screwed this up she could once again try to take her own life and I would never forgive myself….. No pressure…..
While holding her tiny sobbing body and trying my best to soothe her…. Something awful happened… I froze…. My medical friend was asking me questions to translate….. every bit of Spanish I had vanished. It was nerves but I couldn’t for the life of me put together a coherent sentence in Spanish. It was simply gone. My dear friend sat me down with the girl on my lap… and very calmly talked me down… encouraging me and looking straight into my eyes telling me I was “doing great”. I don’t know who my friend was there for more… me or this poor young girl. It helped and I was able to pull myself together and calm enough to ask the tough questions…. I will never forget that dark, late night up the mountain…. I will never forget my dear friend from Canada who was there for me and for the girl. You know who you are and I love you so much for how you got me and her through that awful night. The tiny wide eyes of the little girl still haunt me when I sleep.
I prayed all the way down the mountain that I had done some good…. That I had helped somewhat…. A mere hour of my life…. Forever changed me. I remember thinking, “I can’t do this”… “it hurts too much”…. “I cant really help”…. “I want to go home”…. In the space of an hour, my “home” went from being the newly adoptive Guatemala back to Canada. In my head I was already booking plane tickets……. But in the meantime I had work to do. We had a team and I had to get myself through it and then speak to Geoff about going ‘home’.
Fast forward 2 days….. the doorbell rang…. Geoff answered….. the young girl was in my garage with her mom. As soon as she saw me come down the stairs she ran and flung herself into my arms…. Her eyes filled with tears as she held me tight. She looked up at me and smiled the tiniest of smiles….. She was ok. Somehow, in my ridiculous attempt at talking with her that night, I had done some good. I was shocked. Floored actually….. I had some antibiotics I needed her to take and so I broke the hug and got them…. She took them without question…. (Im talking like 7 different pills here)…. Complete trust in me and no question about what or why she was taking all these different pills.
In that moment, she hugged me again and I realized something…. I am here for a reason…. And I, despite my inability to see my own talents, I am good at what I do. I always feel a bit inferior here… a bit lost. I watch Geoff and Zack thrive with the people and the construction and everything they touch…. I am watching Luke and Gabe grow and thrive also…. Learning from their father and older brother… prepping themselves to take over someday. They are male… they have a place…. They are loved and trusted and do amazingly well at whatever they tackle. I cannot lift heavy things… I am not good at construction…. I cannot really be a part of meetings between men because women here just aren’t respected in that way…. At times I feel lost and confused as to my place here. Relegated to not much more than a housewife again…. Don’t get me wrong, taking care of my family and being a Stay at home wife and mom has always been my career of choice and I love it…. But having worked my behind off going back to University to learn about Holistic Nutrition etc I always wondered what my place was. Sure I do education seminars and work with the women here teaching them about health and nutrition but that’s a few times a year. I guess I always wondered if there was ever going to be ‘more’ for me.
It was the plight of a little girl that now, every time I go up that mountain is one of the first out of her house and hugs me with such force it literally knocks the wind out of me, that taught me so much…. I am valued… I am needed…. I am good at what I do…. I AM making a difference. In my head I have gotten a refund for those plane tickets and it is so worth it…… I am in tears even as I write this and re-read it now….. But they are good tears… the kind that only come when you are remembering deep pain from a very different place… a good place….
(** update note: Geoff and Zack have worked with this family, finally convincing them to seek help from the police. The man who raped this young girl is being charged and will have to go to court and face his crime. The likelihood that he will spend time in jail is actually very good. Guatemala is not really changing in this regard but because of our presence here things like this for the Mayan people are beginning, slowly to be taken seriously. Thank God.)
Suffice it to say 2015 is gone…. It was a good year…. Filled with very high highs…. And desperately low lows…. But worth every minute. I look back upon 2015 with bright fresh eyes now…. I can see my value again…. I know why I am here and I know that despite my not being able to help at times, it is the times I CAN help that I need to focus on. I absolutely cannot wait to see what 2016 brings for me, my family, the people that visit and of course the people of my “HOME” …. Guatemala….
Hello there dear friend. It’s been a while…. I do really try to keep on top of everything but honestly sometimes its just a bit too much. Running a Ministry, a family, a home, fundraising efforts etc. etc.…. It just overwhelms sometimes. And again there are times when there simply isn’t much to say. I’ve said before, at times its not very exciting here… But there are still some things to report on…. Settle in, blogging only every few months means I have a lot to say…. Sorry about that….
Much of the past few months was spent preparing for our STIMMA (Short Term International Medical Missions Abroad) team. It was a huge team and a huge success! Not to sound lazy but you can read a much better description of their time here, complete with tons of photos, than I could ever write at: http://footprints.stimma.org/ . Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not lazy but its all there so why re-write it? Have a look when you get some time… the blog was so incredibly well done and I’m not going to try and duplicate it. Suffice it to say more than 1500 people received medical care they so desperately needed AND medicines were left to sustain those that need it for the next year (yup they are coming back next year)! AND, part of the team worked tirelessly on our newest project, The School of Hope, Jutiapa Provinces first and only school for special needs! The progress they made was outstanding…. Despite the rain, mud and horrific conditions. You see our ‘rainy season’ was a bit weird this year and the rains came… but they came late… and did not stop until about a week ago. The school began as a huge swimming pool almost every day for the construction team…. Sorry guys… haha.
This brings me to talk about the most ambitious project we have ever undertaken…. The School of Hope (Escuela de Esperanza) . First of all, the people chose the name in a round about sort of way. The word Hope keeps coming up from the parents of potential students. During the medical clinic with STIMMA we met some incredible young people with Down’s Syndrome. Christian, Boris and others. Christian’s mom cried with excitement when we told her about the school. Hope. That was the word she used. Boris’s mom had a similar reaction. Hope.
Hope – such a simple word and yet it conveys so much. Good old Webster defines it as: “to want something to happen or be true and think that it can happen or be true”. We hesitated to use it as it can be a bit… um… overused. BUT, honestly, it fits. Parents HOPE for a bright future for their kids. Parents HOPE their children can have a place in this world. The School of Hope is bringing that to Jutiapa Province for the parents of the forgotten children. Christians mom said: “You mean there will be a place in this world for my son?” Yes dear mommy… there will be…. And we all have such HOPE that it can bring a bright future for your son and so many others like him.
The snags however are abundant. We learned, and continue to learn some valuable lessons here as always…. The largest being…. Its probably not the best idea to begin a big, ambitious project in Guatemala during an election year. I have to admit, sometimes we get so frustrated. There is so much corruption in Government and among the people. All we want to do is help but then you hit brick walls… people searching for bribes… special favours…. robberies of money and materials….. those in power threatening to stand in your way unless you pay them. Its actually crazy.
My dad, Rudy, passed away more than 23 years ago. He was one of the best men on this planet. He had a special place in his heart and life especially for children with special needs…. He was very instrumental in the world of Unions back in the day through his humble work as a tool and die maker. He taught me to stand up for those who cannot stand for themselves. Be a voice for those who have none. To always have hope and cling to it. He also taught me to also stand up for myself and never give in to threats, corruption or anything like that. But at the same time to be patient with people and to look behind their motives and ask yourself one question: Why? Perhaps there is much more going on than you know or realize. I realize that sometimes the answer to why is greed… but sometimes, the motivations are fueled by desperation. Poverty is soul crushing. Not having enough to provide for your family makes you do and say things you normally wouldn’t. I don’t fully understand this desperation because I have never lived it. Thank God I was born to a family who provided and had the means to. I have the absolute blessing of marrying a man just like my father…. But so much better in the way that he is so much better educated through life experience. Geoff keeps me grounded in this frustration that sometimes grabs a hold of me, makes me throw up my arms and be ready to just pack it all in! He has the ability to restore my hope when I feel all is lost. I love my husband with all my heart. Its amazing to feel so much love and thanks for having someone like him in my life. Its incredible to watch this man raise his boys to share in his dreams and take a full and integral part in them. My boys are a good mix of the two of us. Enough of me to ask the questions and enough of him to search for the answers without throwing up their arms and walking away.
The bottom line is that the budget for the School of Hope continues to climb. Corruption has greeted us at every turn. Corruption we know is fueled by desperation and a tad bit of greed at times. We figured this out when we took the time to step back and ask ourselves the WHY? We now know enough to ask the WHY? But we do not have to roll over and take the answer either. Thus we made changes. Big plans and big changes.
- The School of Hope now sits on land we purchased. A HUGE purchase that we did not count on. A HUGE purchase that was completely 100% necessary to secure the future of the school. We could not take chances on people coming in and taking it over 3 years down the road. The land includes a part for us to build a home. A home we so desperately need so we can stop renting and facing the corruption of that part of our lives as well. A home, right on site so we are there and readily available at all times. A home that will include an area for teams to stay. (NOTE: This part of the construction is funded by our family. This is not with Ministry money. Our home is 100% going to be built by and funded by our family. The school is funded by donations. Just needed to clear that up so there is never any question about the use of money within our organization.) A place for teams to work and be a part of the school and its workings each and every day.
- The School of Hope may in fact face a name change before we even begin. It may in fact change to the Centre of Hope because we are learning that this is going to be so much more than just a school. It is already planned to hold medical and dental clinics, hold nutritional seminars, health seminars, malnourishment consultations (The Hospital Infantil Padre Pedro where we began also has undergone many changes over the past few years and we need to begin doing some of our own childhood malnutrition consults- long story for another blog someday), education and training sessions etc. etc. The list is becoming endless of what will be done in this, our very own, central location. The “school” of HOPE is not even finished yet and is already so much MORE than a school it’s a Centre. A central location that we HOPE can bring HOPE in so many facets of life here.
- In the beginning the Director of Education in Jutiapa said we would need a small school. One for a maximum of 50 students. There are already over 100 waiting in just our little portion of the Province alone. Thus, the School of Hope has already evolved. This is Phase 1. Phase 2 and 3 are already being planned for. The foundation of the structure has been reinforced to include a 2nd and 3rd floor. All of the plans have had to be revamped and we have had to buy much more building materials than we first thought. All to accommodate this incredible small thing that has now evolved into something so much bigger and better than our original plan. Yes it is costing us WAY more than we had originally said…. But my father taught me something else as well…. Do it right the first time, even if it takes longer and with more effort than you thought!
- With the recent near total collapse of the Government here…. The election of a new President and almost total restructure of every facet of Government…. We needed to change our plan. Its take us a long time to debate and weigh the pros and cons but I think we have finally come to a firm decision that the School of Hope will be privately run. Funded 100% by donations and run 100% by us. Again, we have faced so much corruption amidst the board of Education here that we simply do not see another way. If we fund and run this school, then we remain in control. Classes will be held. Special Needs kids will be educated. Our work will continue. All with the security of knowing its not in jeopardy tomorrow from someone seeking a quick bribe. Life just runs differently here and while we are here to help… we are not here to pay to do so!
- Labour costs are above what we had initially thought. However, this is due to the fact we have hired professional masons and construction workers to oversee the work being done on the site AND we are employing some of the men from our Model Village of El Salitrillo. These men and their sons are working not only on our school and making much needed wages but ALSO learning a trade that gives them hope to secure more work in the future!!! These men literally sleep on site to protect our construction materials from theft. They are such incredible men and such hard workers. We are hoping that learning as much as they are about masonry on site they can secure work in the construction field long after their work with us is completed.
So there you have it. The School/Centre of Hope is well on its way to becoming a reality. Construction moves as money flows in at some and trickles in at others. We are still full of hope for a January 2017 opening date. We truly feel that this place is going to be the central location for the DIG. Work will be done there…. Special Needs Children will be educated…. People who need help will have a place to go…. HOPE will be given for free….. Thank you to my husband who keeps filling me with HOPE every day… hope for the possibility of this place making a real difference here…. And thanks to my father for placing within me the ability to have Hope and to cling to it. Sometimes it is all we have… and it’s the most important thing because without it, we have nothing! Daddy, we are going to dedicate this school in your honour. Rudy Oliverio… this one will be for you! Thanks for being who you were…. I miss you every day and I love you still.
**(Remember: If you want to be a part of this project…. A project that will be ongoing…. Join with us and donate any amount or buy a couple of blocks and a bag of cement for $25.00. Your name will be printed on a block once construction is done. Just imagine the School of Hope covered in names of people from all over the world. Names that show the kids and adults here that there IS Hope and that people really do care! Note that donations made online will say: Guatemala Community Empowerment – Doppenberg – This is a Rev Can rule, not ours so just email us at email@example.com and let us know you want your donation to fund the School of Hope.)
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Well hello there dear friend…. its been a while. Many have asked if a blog was coming soon. Apparently people enjoy reading as much as I enjoy writing. Im sorry… its been busy and time has a funny way of getting away from me. When I finally fall into the couch at night, writing has been, quite frankly, the last thing I have wanted to do. Its not even that I have been tired. Tired is a perpetual state of the Doppenberg Family during our volunteer season… I am used to that. Its more that I have been avoiding writing. Writing is hard. Not going to lie. VERY, very hard. I sit and stare at the blank screen and wonder how I can put into words the things I feel and experience here. Those that follow this blog know that its more of a journal. My thoughts and feelings placed here so others can get a glimpse into how things are here… Its raw and ugly at times… and beautiful at other times….
Honestly, so much of the beauty has escaped me in the past while. You know how life goes through seasons? Things come in threes? etc etc. All the things we make up to let us know that there is an end in sight… light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. Well, sometimes for us, things come in the 333’s. These are times its difficult to write. How am I supposed to be full of happy thoughts, hope etc in the times where I feel very lost and alone. Even my relationship with God has been a bit off. With so much in my head I feel empty when I hear words like “God’s plan” etc. Its ok though… I know my God understands and can handle my questions. He is bigger than all of it and I know He has my back so to speak even when I feel like screaming.
But, with all that being said.. here I am. I am writing again. Writing because I have a renewed sense of joy and hope. Its taken me a while to get here to be honest. The past weeks have been full of those “things come in 3’s moments”… Lots of losses…. children dying from the families lack of the money needed for simple cheap antibiotics. People knocking on our door to help them pay for funerals for children who died for similar reasons…. Taking blind children over and over to specialists to see if they can regain sight…. One is a young girl who had an infection… this infection could have been cured for $5.00 worth of medicine… they couldn’t afford it…. she is now blind for life. The other is Bryan…. Bryan came into our lives by accident. A tiny 3 year old boy born without eyes… his lids fused shut. Bryan is one of the happiest little guys we have ever met. Him and his mom stay at our home the nights before the many trips to the city to see the doctors. Doctors that gave us hope that he indeed did have eyes behind those fused lids… and that those eyes could be surgically worked on to give him sight…. Those same doctors last week became the ones to tell us they were wrong. Bryan did need surgery but it would only be a surgery to help him grow properly since the situation with his facial bones is not conducive to allowing proper growth. Bryan would never see. A devastating loss for us at a time in our work where we could have used a win.
We cried… all of us. Bryan blew us kisses and hugged us. Bryan didn’t get what all the fuss was about. Bryan was ok. It was us that were hurt beyond words. To have so much hope and then to be so brutally let down. I honestly felt like I was falling off a cliff with no one to catch me.
Things kept up this way for a bit. So many things have happened these past weeks. Much too numerous to mention here. Problems upon problems upon problems. Seems this is the season we are to have right now. Its gotten so bad that I have been afraid to open either my email or my front door. I just don’t know who’s going to be writing or knocking with more bad news.
I have to admit I’ve been a baby. A suck. The very thing I teach my children to not be. I gave a dear friend some joking advice the other day… She is going through things that make mine look like a trip to Disney. She spoke about whether the glass was half full or half empty…. I told her to smash the stupid glass and dance on the shards while screaming. It made her laugh. Heck it made me laugh…. What it also did was tell me to suck it up and get over myself. This is not about me. It never was. How on earth can I be so down and so defeated when I see so much around me that is good.
A 15 yr old boy is building a school here bringing the village of El Salitrillo so much hope and joy. This school will be the first generation of children from this village that can read and write. Let me make this clear… this boy is 15! He raised the money for this school. This illiterate village will become literate bringing with it the opportunity for so much in the future. Absolutely incredible.
Bryan doesn’t care if he can see or not. He has no idea what he lost, because he never had it. He touched lives… our lives and the lives of those that met him…. Who knows why… who cares… We will take what we have been given and work with Bryan to be all that he can be, blind or not. Absolutely incredible.
Our Community Empowerment program is changing lives. Less kids in the Malnutrition Hospital… better health… access to healthy food… access to light which is helping everyone but especially kids because they can do homework, get better grades and secure a better future. Absolutely incredible.
We have begun construction on the DIG school #3. A preschool for JK and SK. This has always been a dream of ours since hearing Guatemala has done away with preschool in some regions because they see it as unnecessary. We have always wanted to build one and do a study to prove that education at a young age is so very important. This is happening thanks to like minded donors. These children WILL receive education at an early age and this will help them to build a better future. Absolutely incredible.
Our incredibly talented Dave Tebbutt has completed a documentary that features our family. It is his hope to show people how precious time is and how much joy can be found in service to others. That we all have a responsibility to help those in need and “perhaps it is us who need to change”. We are hoping that this movie gains a wide audience and can help people to see that we need to change the world together… and united in this common goal, we all can! Absolutely incredible.
Last week, we opened our door to the surprise of the week, month, year, decade…. Friends, Elaine and Libro were set to celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary…. They were at our door to surprise us…. in their words… “we looked at doing an all-inclusive but felt that there was no where else we wanted to be than with you guys”. I don’t think anyone can truly understand what that meant to us… in a time we were at a very deep low and had our ‘bucket’ completely full of holes. I tried to explain this once to friends… Imagine being away… not being able to share joys and sorrows in person with people… always relegated to a blurry screen over skype. Our friends ‘surprise’ was a blessing to us that I can never begin to put into words….. Absolutely incredible.
We got word yesterday that someone very special to us is doing something HUGE. A bucket list type of thing… and planning on using that to help us. While its still in planning stages and a large secret I cannot elaborate… All I can say is summer 2016, God Willing, is going to see something that makes me so proud to call her my family. You know who you are… and you are…. Absolutely incredible.
The past months have seen health problems and tragedy within our family and friends across Canada and the USA. It is so difficult as I said above to witness these things from afar and feel powerless to help. BUT…. we have seen incredible miracles and watched as people from all over the world have stood united in prayer for those that suffer. To us this is simply, absolutely incredible.
Our volunteer season has come to an end…. this season we saw family, friends, strangers, young, old, etc etc come through the doors of our new home. We saw our son get married and gain a wife and a step-son. WE gained a daughter, sister, grandson, and nephew. I’ve watched my other 2 sons grow and thrive… finding their own way here and be such a great example of love toward others. I’ve had my marriage grow and thrive here in ways I could have never imagined. All because my husband and I are ‘on the same page’ and together united in our common goals. He and I are better than we have ever been before and I am so in love with him… and so very thankful for him. Absolutely incredible.
We had the privilege of spending tons of time in Salitrillo with the building of the school there. Last week, Good Friday, we headed there with visiting family to work. It ended up that the people there wanted us to spend time with them, in prayer, in community, in fellowship and in friendship. We scrapped our work plans and spent the day just ‘being’ with them. Normally so wrapped up in helping people we forget to take our own advice and spend time in relationship with them. It was a perfect day filled with joy and laughter and quiet reflection. This single day taught our family so very much. Its not always about the money, the funding, the projects… its about the people. They need us… and we need them. A lesson learned and one we will not forget. Absolutely incredible.
Our family made some decisions this past week. Decisions that have already impacted us for the better…. decisions that we needed to make a long time ago but avoided because we were focused on the wrong things. This isn’t about us…. even in our troubles and sorrows we find learning… learning about our work here… learning about ourselves… Learning from others… the joys in the little… Who cares if the glass is half empty or half full… I think its like our proverbial bucket I speak about all the time. The bucket is ours to fill or empty. When holes get poked in that bucket its up to us to figure out how to plug them and keep filling it, one drop at a time.
2014 and beyond….
Well…. what can I say… 2014 has come and gone. What a year it was! The Doppenbergs have been living in Guatemala full time for 16 months. I have to admit that if anyone told me 6 years ago while I was nestled safely and quite comfortably in my home in little, rural Beamsville, Ontario, that I would be living some 6000 miles away I would have laughed near to death. And yet, here I am… safely nestled in our new rental home in the hustle and bustle of Centro (Centre) of El Progreso.
2014 has been quite the year for both our family AND for our work here. A couple years ago I wondered to myself why our eldest son Zack felt such a strong pull to live here in Guatemala…. and how the heck he managed to learn Spanish so darn fast. Well, I got my answer in 2014. The answer came in 2 parts… Amelia and Lisandro. Zack met Amelia last year at our dental clinic (she is a dental assistant and volunteered with our local dentist Dr. Jose Juan who assists our own Dr Laszlo from Canada in running a free dental clinic for the villagers here who cannot afford it), and after a whirlwind dating experience, married Amelia on Dec 6, 2014. Sweet and beautiful Amelia who, as we were to learn, had all but given up looking for love. In Guatemala a woman who has a child out of wedlock is shunned as ‘damaged goods’. This is where 2 cultures combined…. It made no difference to our son if Amelia had 1 or 7 kids. He fell in love with them both. And she with him…. And voila…. Zack is now a husband and a father…. Luke and Gabe have a sister and are uncles…. and Geoff and I gained a beautiful daughter and are now grandparents! We couldn’t be happier. We have encountered some opposition to Zacks decision to marry at what is by Canadian standards, a young age. Zack is young, yes… but he is by no means immature. He knows what he wants… he grew up differently than most. He grew up here. He is more Guatemalan than Canadian. He is a man. Plain and simple. And one, Geoff and I are so very proud of. I know now that God called Zack here… the same way He called us… for reasons I now understand. It is indeed a beautiful thing.
This wedding indeed blessed us too in that many made the trip from Canada and the USA to share the day with us. Zack, in a moment of vulnerability before the wedding took time to thank everyone and admit that he was afraid that we would be alone for this event…. He, and all of us were so thankful to all that came and to those that expressed the desire to come but couldn’t and sent video messages or other greetings. One never knows how far away you actually feel from those you love until an event like this comes about. In this beautiful day, we were allowed the privilege to share it with some of those we love from afar, those we love here in our town…. and those from the village of Salitrillo who have become like family to us. It truly was an incredible experience to have 3 different cultures in one space…. North American, Guatemalan and Mayan.
We are now in a new rental home as well. Our old home was plagued with Dengue type mosquitos… had new (and highly dangerous) high tension power lines to run the Canadian mine installed 10 feet from our door…. and we were quickly outgrowing it. We are now a family of 7 since Guatemalan tradition says the man and his wife move in with the husbands parents. Thus we moved to a very large new home in the centre of town. It is a 3 level home and is much better suited to the needs of our family…. and to hosting teams. In short, it is home. We are very thankful to Don Rene for the opportunity to rent this beautiful home at such a great price as he wanted to help our mission. For me I am especially grateful to him for this home as I had Dengue fever this year and if I were to get it again it would be very dangerous the second time. As a family, we have our own ‘space’ where we can go to be a family…. And a huge communal area where we can spend some time with volunteers and just ‘hang out’. Volunteers have their own space too (and many more bathrooms, with roofs on them … (those of you that have been to our old home will understand why that is a big deal haha))
Reading all this above, it seems like this year was mainly concerned with our family growing and getting settled into our first full year here. But, our mission saw many things happen too. We saw our goals, and ways of doing things shift greatly. We have learned much during the past 5+ years here… Things like, what to do, and what NOT to do. If you come here now to volunteer… it looks VERY different. There is a lot more ‘observation’ and a lot less hands on. We have learned to let the people do for themselves instead of having the volunteers do for them. This plays into our hand up, not hand out mentality. If you come to volunteer you may find yourself with a lot more down time than was seen in the past. This is not to say you will be bored… but you will possibly find yourself a lot less exhausted than you would have been on previous trips. This does not by any means mean we are doing less… it just means we have learned to do things a little different.
We are in the process of developing a ‘manifesto’ of sorts. Basically a do’s and don’ts list. We do not EVER hand out clothing or other things. We try to be less invasive as we were. We found ourselves creating North American type problems in remote villages where this never existed before. This was NOT good and it was completely our fault. These hand outs help no one. They do way more harm than good. The people here want to do things for themselves but are crippled by poverty and lack of options. What we offer is options. This means great things for the people here and we have seen first hand in Salitrillo and other villages enrolled in our Village Empowerment Plan that this method works. Suicides are down as the men feel hope and empowered to help their families without resorting to accepting someone else scraps. Health and wellness is on the rise as people can afford to buy more food, and most importantly more nutritious food. Malnourishment in the areas we work is becoming a thing of the past. The program is working. We are still learning as we always will be… but some things are changing for the better and we are so blessed to be a small part of it.
2014 was a huge year for us….. We managed to do many awesome things thanks to all you who partnered with us:
– We have distributed over FIVE HUNDRED solar lights to many different communities, and the program is going awesome.
– We have started a tree and plant nursery, wherein we are seeding nutritious plants and trees. We have a deep water well there, so plenty of water. The land and the water is all thanks to our great mayor, who has provided the land and the access to the water completely FREE OF CHARGE! So we only have to pay for all other parts of the nursery, i.e. soil bags, soil, seeds, etc…
– We have also initiated our “Community Empowerment Program”, with 90 families already having received their solar lights and water filters! This translates into 440 people having access to light, phone charging, and clean water!!! As well, they will be receiving their moringa trees, neem trees, chaya, chia seeds, and amaranth seeds at the start of the next rainy season, which will all come from our nursery!
– The malnutrition centre is doing great, all of the women are doing well, and we are seeing less children being admitted all the time.
– We also, in the past year, built our very first school, in conjunction with “Miracles in Action”! This school was built in a VERY remote village, and took a LOT of walking and hard work to complete.
– We completed 2 water projects in 2 different villages, providing clean potable water to over 50 families!
– We have begun an “aquaponics” project in Salitrillo. While there are many bugs to be worked out in this project we are off to a running start!
– We have begun adult seminars in nutrition and health to various villages as well we have begun a math and english program in the village of Salitrillo for grades 1-6.
– We have also started a small “restaurant”, in which the boys and us sell “American hamburgers, chicken burgers, and hot dogs”, to supplement our rent on our new home. We are all having a TON of fun with this, as it also allows us the opportunity to meet all of the people from town and surrounding cities whom we have not met yet, as well as we get to practice our Spanish!
So there you have it…. a proper update from all of us Doppenbergs in Guatemala… All 7 of us… no longer 5. We feel so incredibly blessed to be here and to have the opportunity to enjoy a life here in this country of such incredible beauty… and with some of the kindest and most genuine people I have had the pleasure of meeting. Please consider continuing to partner with us. There is so much work yet to be done and we are excited to be on the ground working to end malnourishment in this forgotten region where larger organizations no longer work because it is so ‘far gone’.
And so…. from our family, Geoff, Rita, Luke, Gabe, Zack, Amelia and Lisandro we wish you Health, Prosperity, Hope and Peace in 2015. We wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for all of you who believe in us and in what we do. God Bless You all. We love you!
Why do we all feel so much pressure all the time? Perhaps its social media and how ‘connected’ we all are? We get glimpses into each others lives and it surely does make everyone elses lives seem so much more exciting than our own at times. Being a missionary or a humanitarian, whichever you prefer, we feel this pressure all the time. Pressure to deliver earth shattering updates all the time. Quite honestly there hasn’t been much excitement in our ministry in a while. We are simply waiting… and growing…. literally. We have plants and crops on the way…. but they are just that… on the way. Our lives seem to be at a bit of a standstill right now. Planning for the coming volunteer year…. working in the almost completed nursery…. working on crops and waiting for those crops to mature…. waiting for this horrible drought to end…. working on grant and funding applications…. waiting on funding…. waiting on donors…. waiting… waiting….
This path we have chosen sure has taught us patience…. I feel such pressure to report BIG news all the time… To report exciting work that is going on…. to tell you all how much progress we are making in our fight against malnourishment in our region…. And don’t get me wrong…. we are making great big, GIANT leaps in this but right now we are just simply doing some, well, not very exciting work at this stage and waiting.
Personally for our family, we have tons new! Our eldest son Zack has announced his engagement to a wonderful young woman named Amelia. We all couldn’t be happier for them. We have known Amelia for quite some time since she first volunteered at our dental clinic. Zack has known since the first time he met her that she was the one for him. And so on December 6th we will be celebrating a wedding here! Such exciting times for us. There is a myriad of paperwork involved in getting married in a foreign country so we have been pretty busy getting all that done on time. Its definitely not easy doing it all from here and we are thankful for all the friends back home in Canada helping us out with that!
We have also moved. Our old house was plagued with many problems. Mainly the new very toxic high tension power lines that they put in 10 feet from our door and it was over-run by dengue type mosquitos. It was not a place we could stay anymore especially since me getting dengue a second time would pose major health risks for me. So we filled much time searching for a new home. What we found far surpassed our hopes and dreams. You see, hosting so many people we needed 2 homes and thats double the rent, but we managed to find one home large enough to accommodate everyone! So we are now settled in the centre of town in a large home that is more than ample for our family and for any volunteer teams that visit! God is good! We do struggle a bit with the enormous size and beauty of this home but seeing it is perfect for what we need we are adjusting.
One thing that set this house apart is that it has a tienda (store) in the front. We plan to and are actually already using this room to sell some of our overstock of plants and seeds, solar lights, water filters etc to those who can afford them. This will help fund these items for those that cannot afford to pay full price. Also we will be using the tienda to hold seminars on nutrition, cooking, planting etc. This will help us fund our ministry as well as provide education opportunities for those that need it and want it. This is a VERY exciting opportunity for us and we already have a name…. “La Vida Saludable” (The Healthy Life). The tienda will also be used eventually as a cafe! We are partnering with another non profit here in Guatemala, Global Community Works to sell their fairer than fair trade coffee! We are really excited by all these new opportunities and are excited to see what the future holds.
School is in full swing here as Luke and Gabe study with Me (mom) and prepare themselves for high school next year. Every morning is spent in our ‘classroom’ working hard and learning lots. While I am not a teacher I do find myself enjoying this time and its a bonus that I’m being reminded of things long forgotten too! You are never too old to learn!
Geoff and Zack have been hard at work getting our Nursery project off the ground. We have had to switch locations and so that created a ton of work for everyone but in the end it will be well worth it. Thousands upon thousands of nutritious seeds are being planted so we will have a surplus of moringa, chaya, neem, etc. and various fruit trees for the people here. This is a crucial part of our Community Empowerment Program that I blogged about in my previous post and we know it will have positive lasting impact on those involved.
And so…. if you can bear with us as we come to the end of our period of quietly waiting I promise to not feel so much pressure to provide exciting updates…. Volunteer season is upon us very soon and our plants are almost ready! Know that big things don’t always make loud noises but we are here and we are ready to begin making some very loud noises so stay tuned!
What if I were to tell you…
A blog post was sent to me by my Pastor in reply to something I said to him…. this blog struck me and I wanted to share….. Below are excerpts from “David Lose” ( fyi: the full blog can be found at https://www.workingpreacher.org/craft.aspx?post=1599) It is beautifully written by David to fellow pastors but I think and STRONGLY believe it applies to all of us…..
“What if I were to tell you…
…that what you do this week could change the world?
Would you believe me? Imagine it so? Smile politely but secretly scoff?
Let’s broaden the question. What if we were to tell people this Sunday — from the pulpit — that what they do this week will change the world? Would they believe us or doubt? Stand taller with hope or soon think of something else? We’ll never know, of course, unless we try.
Our actions are inter-connected, creating an unforeseen butterfly effect that can ripple across time and space to affect the lives of millions.
The things we do this week — our actions, decisions, choices — will, in fact, ripple out with consequences foreseen and unforeseen, for good or for ill, for the health or damage of the world. That question isn’t whether, but what…what will we do this week to make a difference in the world. Some of these actions may be big, bold, and courageous. Others may be small, hardly noticeable. And yet they all have the potential to ripple out, affecting countless lives. Who knows whom it will be today, this week, this year. The Apostle Paul, in the second reading, says that we all are members of the body of Christ, each with different gifts, yet all one in faith and with the same potential for God to use us to change the world.
My hope, Working Preacher, is that you will preach a sermon telling your people the same, and that because of that small and valiant gesture the world will change for the better.
Yours in Christ,
Now that is some pretty solid stuff. Not just for Pastors but for all. Have you ever thought of it? Something large or small you do or say and how it ‘ripples’ outward to change the lives of people for the good or ill….. I see this each and every day in what we do here in Guatemala. A kind word, bringing some hope, planting some seeds….. all these things ripple outward for the good of the people as a whole and I like to believe these small actions will continue to ripple for generations to come!
We have a plan in place… The Community Empowerment Program and it has not only the potential but the ability to ripple outward to effect countless lives here for the better. This program involves facets of government here, the people themselves being accountable and sustainable, and YOU. Basically it is in essence a sponsorship program that, for around the cost of 1 coffee a day in North America, can change lives for generations. One coffee a day…. thats all it takes to change lives…. imagine the possibilities.
There is a major drought here right now…. every week we get word of someone who has given up hope and taken their own life due to the fact that they were overcome by the hopelessness of a lost crop. The Government has declared a state of emergency here. Sadly every organization we have contacted for help in this country has refused stating, “We know that Jutiapa is one of the hardest hit but Im sorry we don’t work there”…. Our region is not trendy. Our work is down and dirty… It can be quite boring at times… tedious planting, digging, meetings…. etc etc… . The civil war taught the Mayans to hide in our region…. thus they do not dress in the traditional garb that tourists love so much… there is no tourism… there is no ‘draw’ for mission teams to visit here unless they want to simply work and do very little ‘tourism’. Its a sad reality in the mission world that most teams want to go where they can see some nice things and some tourism type stuff. We don’t have that…. So we remain the forgotten land of the starving. One of the poorest areas in all of Guatemala. No wildlife to observe, they have eaten it all…. no pretty colourful dresses on the ladies. Just poverty…. just the ability to flutter your butterfly wings and silently affect lives for the better without all the bells and whistles…..
So, please search your heart…. realize that YOU and your actions have the ability to change lives…. give up one coffee a day and sponsor a family. A new family each and every month! Give the gift of life and a future to those that have none….
Below is a one page brief summary of the Community Empowerment Program… if you want the full document we have that available as well and I can send it to you if you email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Suffice it to say that in the USA a monthly gift of $67.00, in Canada $80.00 is all it takes to change lives… Please consider a monthly sponsorship to “adopt” one different family each and every month OR a one time gift to ‘adopt’ one family. Whatever you can afford…. it all helps so much! It all ripples and changes lives….
Countless lives…. for generations to come. Breathing hope and life into the lives of those who have nothing simply by the flutter of your beautiful wings….. Isn’t that worth giving up a coffee a day? BE THE CHANGE, flutter your wings and begin your butterfly effect here: http://thedoppenbergs.com/?page_id=2173
COMMUNITY EMPOWERMENT PROGRAM SUMMARY
After seeing so many successes in our Village Empowerment Program test village of Salitrillo we feel its time to move forward. We have initiated a program, in conjunction with local municipalities, the Department of Education, local villages and their leaders, NGO’s, and ourselves to empower other villages to dig themselves out of poverty, malnutrition, and health issues. This is a multi-‐faceted program which provides people with immediate economic recovery, clean bacteria free water, better health and nutrition, and sustainability through education and economics.
This program will provide, to families, all of the following:
-‐ Solar lights/phone chargers ; battery lasts 5 years
-‐ Sawyer water filtration systems ; life span of filter is 10 years
-‐ Nutritious plants and trees ; life time of nutrition and economic recovery
-‐ Education seminars ; ongoing for many years
The total cost for this program is $160 USD per family . The municipalities have agreed to cover $53 US. The people, themselves, will be paying $40 US keeping them accountable and providing a hand up NOT a hand out. This leaves $67 US, which is where people and organizations such as you come in! For less than people currently pay for only 2 months of sponsoring individual children, you have the AMAZING opportunity of sponsoring an ENTIRE family, but not just for the 2 months, rather their ENTIRE life, and the children after their parents!!
Well, well… its been a while hasn’t it. I have to say, its really REALLY good to be back. For those of you that don’t know, I was pretty ill for a while. Seems I had some issues. I got hit with a bladder infection, a throat infection and Dengue Fever all at the same time. Any one of those alone would make you sick… all 3 at the same time made me, for the first time in my life, actually afraid I might die. Dengue Fever is a virus that comes from the bite of an infected mosquito. High fever, severe headache and fatigue, rash, dangerously low white blood cells and platelets, internal bleeding, and too many other symptoms to list. Let me just say it has a nickname, “breakbone fever” and WOW does it ever live up to that. It actually feels like every single one of the bodies 206 bones is broken. It can be fatal… and believe me, feeling how I felt, I am certain it can be. Fluid fills your body in places that shouldn’t have fluid, like lungs and make you feel like you are drowning. I was afraid, my family was afraid, my doctor was afraid…. there is no cure… no medicine… just hydration, meds to manage symptoms, and lots of prayer was my protocol. I have to be very careful now. There are 4 strains of the disease. I had one and am now immune but only to that strain… if I contract any of the other 3 my chances of survival go down. Thats a bit daunting to me…. and I am trying my best to be careful now…. I have become a bit of a mosquito maniac to be honest. I sit in 95+ degree weather in pants and socks… and Im beginning to be a bit concerned about my over use of deet containing repellent but Im sure the paranoia will pass.
All of this has made me very introspective of things… Not in a cliche ‘near death’ way… but just some thoughts I had in my long hours of recovery…I had many hours of resting to just think. It has firmed up my resolve to carry on our work here. Many people who survive dengue are told by doctors back home in North America to not travel again to dengue prone areas. Well, thats not an option. Im not going anywhere. It IS actually rare so don’t cancel your flights just yet… I just got ‘lucky’… And it is mainly present during rainy season. If anything, it has helped me see more purpose in what we do here and truly helped me get out of my whining thoughts of what I am missing back in North America.
Geoff called Dr. Milton’s personal cell phone several times with an emergency question and my amazing doctor stayed late or came in on the weekend a couple of times to provide meds or see me. One day in particular he met Geoff at his office to give him some medicine for my severe breathing difficulties. He knew we were scared… he knew we are foreign here… and he stepped up in amazing ways to help me and my family go through this as best we could at a huge inconvenience to himself. As I sat here with a breathing mask on my face, when Geoff returned with medicines for our nebulizer it struck me… How many people have access to a 24 hour doctor? How many people on this planet have a nebulizer… how many even know what the heck it is? (FYI- its a machine that uses liquid medicine for asthma and mists it into a breathing mask you wear on your face. Much better than an inhaler… much faster relief… If you go to the hospital for an asthma attack you will be attached to such a machine. We have one because when Zack was a small child, his asthma was so bad that we were in the ER regularly and we ended up qualifying for a nebulizer for our home.) Many times I had thought of donating that machine but for some reason I kept it all these years just in case… So glad I did.
I may live here but I still have the access to my North American lifestyle in ways I cannot fathom. I HAVE a nebulizer. It may have just saved my life… I don’t know. I have an amazing doctor with everything but an MRI at his office so any test to get an immediate diagnosis can be run (I didn’t even have that in Canada)…. It may have just saved my life… I don’t know. How many people that I serve here have those kinds of options? Um… none. Zero. They lie in bed (if they have a bed) and pray to get better. Now Im not discounting the power of prayer by any means…. but I hope you can see my point here. There is no money in their lives to buy food let alone doctor visits or medicines. I have options where others do not. Heck, I could have flown myself back to Canada if need be to get treatment… How lucky am I? VERY.
This experience like so many in my life has shown me so much. I think we all need to look at our lives at times and see just how darn lucky we actually are. We spend so much time focusing on what we DON’T have to take time to appreciate how truly lucky we are to have what we DO have. Even I, living immersed in a developing nation, surrounded by extreme poverty, need reminders once in a while… All around me I am watching people literally starve. The canicula (a natural phenomenon of 2 weeks of no rain) has lasted longer than 6 weeks… Crops everywhere here are failing… Men are committing suicide out of desperation and lack of hope. We are fast approaching a time where there is no food to harvest…. People are scared. I am scared… my family is scared…. But we press on and adapt to the time. Not much will ever change for me however because I HAVE. Simple as that. Two small words that mean so much…. I HAVE. No matter how much time I spend here I am still one of the people that simply HAVE. I am not sitting in a bus at a border, nor having to send my kids away and praying they have a shot at life…. I am not at risk of death due to my faith…. I am not starving to death nor watching my children starve through no fault of mine just simply due to where I was born on this planet…. I need to recognize that and count my blessings each and every single day. We all do. We also need to always remember AND help those that DON’T HAVE….
Just one more quick thing before I sign off, I want to take a moment here to tell you what an absolutely amazing family I have. I have never in my life seen them step up to take such good care of me. I have to tell you I was scared… I was an absolute bi*ch at times. I was depressed and down and miserable. They understood… they loved me anyway… Thank you so much Geoff, my rock. As cliche as that sounds its so true. I am truly blessed to have you and you always manage to pull me out of whatever mess I am wallowing in. You worked so hard and took on so much during the weeks I was sick… but not just then, you always go above and beyond for me and our boys. I love you and I thank God every day for you… Zack, Luke and Gabe…. I could not ask for better sons. Thank you for making me so proud every moment. You all stepped up in so many ways to help me… to cheer me up… to love me despite my mood swings, to do my work for me despite how tired you all were from having to do so much extra every day. You all also go so far above and beyond for me, for your dad, for each other and for others…. I love you 3 more than you can ever imagine and I am so VERY proud of each of you…
I also want to take a moment to thank you all. From here I had food deliveries and visits from many dear friends. Made me feel so special and loved despite being a ‘gringo’. I know I have ‘family’ here and that means more than you can ever know. I received many prayers, well wishes, messages etc from friends and family back home and across the USA during this time. It was such a huge thing for me. Being far away… in a foreign country… so very ill…. scared…. not really understanding what was happening to me much of the time… not really knowing what medicines I was given etc etc…. Having all of you reach out to me was more of a blessing than you can imagine. Thank you and I love you all….
A mess of thoughts from a messy life….
WOW. Do I love to feel sorry for myself or what? I am a mess as usual. People always ask, “How are you? Really?” , “How are things going in Guatemala?” And then, “What can I do to help?”…. Well, be careful what you ask. Thats all I am going to say haha.
Let me begin by saying that our trip/furlough was a mess. Don’t get me wrong, we had a great time and loved being ‘home’ but it was, in the words of our ever knowledgeable 19 year old son Zack, an epic sh*t show (sorry, no other way to describe it). It was VERY busy and honestly not much of the rest we had hoped for and so desperately needed. The biggest surprise however was the emotional impact. Before I even left, a dear friend told me to “Guard my heart”. I had no idea what she meant at the time. I had been ‘home’ before. I knew this time would be different due to the fact that Canada is no longer ‘home’. but I truly was clueless. We have no house, nor possessions there anymore… We call Guatemala HOME now. Well, let me tell you I learned in a heartbeat exactly what she meant and I was totally unprepared for my reactions.
We spent just over 3 weeks in Canada and the USA visiting friends & family. My heart broke so much I was beginning to be concerned that the damage was going to be beyond repair. We couldn’t see all the people we wanted to see…. those we did had too short visits. Suffice it to say, when we left on that Saturday morning I was still crying when we hit the border. I wore sunglasses into the duty free shop where we stopped to buy ‘dulces’ (maple sugar candy) for some friends here in Guate. By the time we hit the border I think the man at the booth thought perhaps I was being held against my will as the tears still flowed down my face in a steady stream as I answered his questions. All my boys, including Geoff were quiet and let me just cry as they knew I just needed it. Every time the tears would begin to stop, Geoff would touch me in the reassuring way he does and that would open the flood gates yet again. He quickly learned to stop being reassuring, to keep both hands on the wheel and just drive the car.
I read a short time before our trip, a blog by another missionary that talked about how some of the the ‘sacrifice’ of missionaries actually occurs on the side of those they leave behind. I saw and experienced that first hand this time. My life has a lot going on and so my mind races at times and I am kept too busy to really feel things. Those back ‘home’ have birthdays, babies, weddings, celebrations, illnesses and just normal times, but now they all occur without us to share them with. I know that sounds like we are full of ourselves but that is not the case. We realized that we are a big part of some lives and when we cannot be there to share the ups and downs in our little community, it hurts those we love and those that love us back. I never really had looked at it that way before. I was too caught up in my own ‘self pity’ to see things from their side. This time I saw it… and my heart broke again. To those I love back home… those I saw this trip and those I didn’t…. I love you…. I miss you…. I think of you every day…. and Im sorry I left you. But I am always with you, as cliche as that sounds, in spirit.
Coming home to Guatemala renewed my insane sense of self pity all over again. Three weeks with friends and family was amazing…. Three weeks with Geoff and my boys was beyond description. Our family had not been alone here in Guatemala since arrival last October, with the exception of 9 days. 9 DAYS as a family in 7 months is NOT enough. We know now we have to change the schedule of things here in order for our family to survive and we have made changes accordingly. We have learned lessons this year and will continue to learn and ‘tweak’ things according to our needs as well as the needs of others. But we will, in this instance, put our needs above those visiting. We need to be a family or all this simply falls apart. We have come too far to allow that to happen. Mama tiger will protect her family! Thus we have decided to host people 2 weeks out of every month. The other 2 will be spent working, prepping for new teams to arrive AND doing the family thing! YAY, we finally, after 5 years, get that part! Go Us! But I am getting off topic here…..
So what did we come back home to in Guate? Well, things here are status quo… we share some successes in our mission and some failures. The Hospital is doing great and admissions are a bit less than last year…. Salitrillo (our Village Empowerment Project) is thriving, Our chia plants and seeds are getting planted. Our chaya plants are not thriving at all and we need to figure this out, construction on our first school partnered with Miracles in Action continues on schedule, our donation numbers are way down, and its raining.. constantly. Anyone who knows me, knows I hate rain. Rain gives me the blues so to speak. I always have disliked the dreary weather and the depression that goes along with it. I know in my heart, rain brings life. Rain is necessary. Part of the reason malnutrition occurs in our region so rampantly is the lack of rain for 6 entire months. My brain KNOWS these things… but my heart hates the rain. And it rains…. oh my does it rain… relentless downpours that ground life here to a halt. Everything we own is damp…. cleaning the floors is an hourly procedure…. working in the fields, planting crops like chia make just walking a huge chore as the sticky mud cakes on your boots turning them into 20-30 pound weights, the house leaks as no house can put up with this much water…. drying clothing is impossible so laundry piles up into an unmanageable state…. the dogs refuse to do their thing in the rain so they soil the tile floor under our roof…. IT SUCKS and I am hosting my own personal pity party daily. I miss my easy life back in Canada at these times. But then I see the people I am here to serve. The mud huts collapsing under the rain… flood waters forcing them from their homes and ruining what little belongings they have…. mudslides claiming life after life…. And I am ashamed. Why do we, those born in the more affluent areas of the worlds, possess such a sense of entitlement? I don’t have the answer…. I just know that I am doing my best to change my attitude and suck it up so to speak. I am darn lucky to have what I have and to be where I am and to be surrounded by family that loves me. The end.
And so here I am again…. feeling better and lucky to be here. How am I really doing? I am good. Honestly. I have moments… I miss those I love…. I am learning lessons on dealing and making the most of what I have…. I am evolving so to speak. Growing up. And learning to ask for help and not feel ashamed….
When people now say the last part of the question I quoted in the beginning of this blog, “And what can I do to help? I am no longer afraid or too timid to answer. As I said above, we came home to some startling news that donation numbers are way down. So, How can you help? Donate. Plain and simple. I can deal with everything else but the lack of funds. Without funding we can do nothing and things are going so well and we are just beginning to see the fruits of our labours so to speak. Don’t play into the old “out of sight, out of mind” trap so many missionaries feel.
You see, when people first go onto the field to work, everyone is excited to send them… to pray for them… to write them for updates and to FUND them. But as time passes, things change. They are gone for long stretches and the connection people feel with them and to them lessens. Let me tell you, nothing changes on our end. We are STILL here… we STILL have needs…. we STILL have so many to help…. nothing stops for us. We need to live, to eat, to survive, to fund hospitals, to fund ministry, to fund projects. It never lessens. As a matter of fact, the longer we are here, things keep spinning and the need grows more every day. The sad truth is, the longer we are gone the donations go down steadily. The opposite should be true. The longer we are here, the more we do, the more need, with your help, we satisfy, the donations should be growing. Up and to the right is where we want to be just like in the corporate world.
One thing that was extremely difficult this visit back to what was once home was seeing the excess. Visiting Florida and other parts of the USA and Canada can be a difficult transition from one day sitting in a mud hut eating chicken soup with a family as a goodbye gift knowing full well they won’t eat chicken for a month now because they fed it to us, to visiting places where people throw out more food in one day than these people see in all month. Need looks very different and while we cannot compare the two because as I learned its like comparing apples to oranges which only share one common trait… they are both sort of round. The bottom line is we are all human beings and depending on where we were born is what dictates our ‘needs’. Its a tough pill to swallow when you are immersed in it though.
So help us…. take the burden of worry about finances off of our shoulders. Partner with us and help us help those who are in desperate need to simply live. We can work so much better… be so much more of a hand up to people who have nothing IF we do not have the burden of worry over finances hanging over us like a dark menacing cloud. We have enough of those dark clouds hovering this rainy season and beyond to worry about as it is.
So I have a challenge for you…. And I hope you will accept it….. Please, find it in your heart to redefine your “need” and do with one less thing each month… just one less thing of your choice and donate the amount monthly or one time to allow us to continue the privilege of serving people who have nothing. Visit www.thedoppenbergs.com and click on the “Donate Now” button. Choose either a one time donation or a monthly partnership… every little bit helps so help us bring hope to the hopeless and help those who have needs way beyond our own. BE THE CHANGE!