Wow… 2 weeks today my family & I landed back in Canada.  Complete with warnings from so many people that our transition back into the Canadian culture would be difficult.  Well I have to tell you that difficult does not even come close to describing what me and my family have been going through these past weeks.  Incredibly, inconceivably brutal might be a tad bit closer to our reality right now.  Every single thing about Canada feels foreign… even our own home feels a bit unfamiliar.  It seems full of meaningless junk.  Stuff…. tons of stuff that does nothing but weigh me down like I have an anchor tied to my neck.  Stuff I have to clean and dust but serves no purpose.  All seems pointless….. As I sit and think about it…. nothing has changed here… its all still the same… its us who have undergone a total and complete transformation.

I have at times been completely surrounded by people these past weeks.  All with the best of intentions.  I love them dearly.  Make no mistake, I love my people here with all my heart.  And I have loved every minute seeing them and catching up.  But I find myself quiet now.. (and for those that know me, that is very unusual).  I sit and I listen… its like my brain is moving in slow motion and it takes me a while to truly focus.  Its only been 2 weeks and everyone says, don’t worry this will pass.  Its the foreign nature of my surroundings that has me … um… weird I guess description for lack of a better word.  Someone said to me, “perhaps its just too soon to be with people”.  I took that to heart and have tried basically becoming a hermit this past week.  Still feel the same.  I finally pegged it down.  I am lonely.

People in Canada are surrounded by people… they gather, they meet at Starbucks to talk, they communicate electronically through social media like Twitter and facebook, they text, they email etc etc…. but there is something missing.  Community.  True, REAL community.  THAT is what I am missing.  I can’t explain it unless you’ve lived it.  But its real… and no matter how much you think you have community here, you do not.  We segregate ourselves and our lives… We compartmentalize.  We live in our homes…. we might chat with our neighbours, we gather with our friends…. but we do not have community.  I miss community…. North America is a lonely place.  Its not just me…. Geoff feels it… my kids are a mess right now.  Surrounded by friends, school, family etc but they are so missing something that they cannot quite put into words.  They don’t have to… I get it… I know what it is… and we together as a family have found an answer…..

We don’t want it to pass, we don’t want it to go away.  We want it to thrive in us.  We don’t want to be lonely anymore.  Solution?  Simple!  We are going to follow where we feel we are being led.  It doesn’t get any simpler.  We have made a decision to turn our ministry into a full time, forever thing.  Not a year or 2…. nope.  We are going “ALL IN”.  Our house will be sold, our belongings sold…. we are going to keep only the real memorable things that we simply cannot do without.  Basically what can fit into a few meager boxes.  We don’t need any more than that…. we have each other and our community.  Good enough for me.  Our plan right now is to live in Guatemala for 10 months of the year and return here to Canada for the summers.  Simple as that!

Now, in order to go “ALL IN” we are going to need tons of help.  We are still hoping for now to cover all our living expenses ourselves.  I will be teaching english in Guatemala, that is already arranged.  My boys are already all set up to do homeschooling.  Geoff will be working on projects etc.  We will find our way.  Where we need you is where we always need…. financially.  Every few days I get emails from Hermana Veronica… more kids have arrived… more on the way…. the rains are full force… the hospital is filling…. there isn’t enough money to help them all… etc etc…  Oh how I wish I was there right now to help… I feel so utterly and completely helpless.  We simply do not have the means to help by ourselves…. helpless is not a good place to be…. so here I am, taking the reins and making things happen.  I cannot sit idly by anymore without asking people to make the tough choices… to commit.  Words are great and we love and appreciate all   the moral support, but we need so much more than that for the kids…..  We need people like you to search your hearts and your lives and see if there is anything more you can do to help them.

The Hospitalito right now has well over 20 kids and more arriving weekly.  We need to cover the hospital budget.  They cannot function without money… they cannot serve…. they cannot save these kids if they don’t have the money to buy food.  We need people to commit.  To go “ALL IN” right along side us.  We need people to say, enough, I am totally going for it.  A monthly pledge can come right out of your bank account…. you won’t even notice.  But others will notice.  The precious kids will notice when more nutritious food shows up on their plates at meal times saving their lives.  Im not guilting here… nor over-stating.  I am merely stating the facts.  If the money does not come in the kids will not have a shot.  I’ve seen it.  I’ve paid for funerals…. Trust me when I tell you I do not want to ever have to pay for another one.

In the next month or so we hope to have a website up and running.  There will be options there too.  Sponsoring a child that is currently in the hospital.  Sponsoring a Hermana to get an education that can aid her to serve the poor better.  Nursing, teaching, agriculture etc.  Sponsoring a specific project that we can discuss and arrange, like for example an outdoor playground for the kids… etc.  You could be responsible for saving a child’s life in any of these 3 ways for less than the cost of what we spend on things like Starbucks in a month.  Doesn’t sound like too huge a sacrifice to me…..

In the mean time, if you want to get started right now… that is totally what we are looking for.  The form to fill out can be found here…. click on it, http://www.ctenc.ca/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/Commission-To-Every-Nation-Canada.pdf … print it out….  fill it out… put “The Doppenberg’s in Guatemala” at the bottom & mail it to CTENC at the address on the form,  and just sit back and enjoy the pictures and updates we will send you regularly so you know exactly where your money is going.  You will totally be a part of something that is beautiful beyond your imagination.  Coming to Guatemala in person is something we always encourage so you can see and experience for yourself.  Talk to someone who has come… we hosted 51 amazing people this year and every single one of them has been touched by the experience in some way.  Consider coming down and seeing for yourself!  The time is now!

There are so many plans in the works… a farm to provide fresh food and jobs… a new Hospitalito in El Salvador…. so many new and exciting things….  But we cannot move forward yet.  We cannot until we have the existing hospital covered.  Renovations are mostly complete on the building.  It is up to snuff so to speak.  This year was about getting it in better working order so that they could function better and save money.  The time has come to get their financial situation in order.  The monthly hospital budget is under $5000.00 for operating costs…. Imagine running a hospital in North America for that much?   We need this budget covered by the people of Canada together with the people of Guatemala so that burden can be lifted from all of us and free us up to proceed forward on the path to El Salvador.  Malnutrition knows no borders and El Salvador is not immune to this epidemic.

The average cost (without meds or medical tests etc) of having a child in the Hospitalito for one month is 1000 quetzals, which is $135.00.  That is nothing!  What would that number be in North America.. I shudder to think?  I am not asking for anyone to pledge that amount of money, although it is totally do-able for most, we do understand that it may seem like a hefty number for one person… What I am asking is that you cover, monthly, a portion of that.  We need to go to Guatemala and know that the Hospitalito is covered monthly.  They have costs like lights, power, food, water, etc just like the rest of us.  What they do not have is payroll.  The Hermana’s and us are doing what we do because, in the words of Hermana Mercedes, “Some people were just born to serve the poor”.  We will do without a paycheck… We will do without the luxuries.  We will do without the commercial Christmas… we will do without whatever it takes to help.  We are willing to do without stability in our lives in order to follow the path that we feel God has put us on.  But we cannot do this alone.  I have said it so many times before, “Will you help us, help them?”.  Many people read this blog… many people watched the weekly videos we posted…. this stuff is not for entertainment.  We do this so you can understand from afar exactly what we are all about.  What it is that we do.  We want to make it personal.  This is NOT our families thing.  This belongs to everyone who wants to be a part of it.  Together we can walk, hand in hand, with God in the lead and make a difference.  It is a choice… and the time has come to choose.  We have now stood up and declared that we feel its not right to have these kids dying of starvation while our fridges and cupboards are full.  There IS enough to go around.  I am asking you now to stand with us and say, NO MORE!

Yesterday was a tough one.  We booked our flights home.  We have been here for just over 4 months now…. The day we leave will mark 5 months exactly that we have been in this amazing country of Guatemala.  Every single one of us sat in a state of mini-depression as we watched me press that little button on the computer screen that says “Book Now”.   After all was said and done, the 5 of us sat in complete silence with glazed eyes.  It’s real now.  It’s over…..

When we told the Hermana’s at the hospital they all refused to listen.  “May does not exist in our world” they all laughed.  No May.  May is “malo” (bad).  They don’t want us to leave any more than we want to.  It’s actually devastating to all of us.  As we tell our new friends here, they all just shake their heads in sadness.  I feel their pain.  It is truly bittersweet.  We miss our friends and family back home, but we will miss our friends and family here too.  It’s certainly tough living in 2 very distinctly different worlds.  Somehow I thought it would be easier…

We have accomplished so much this year with the help of so many people…. We have hosted 51 people here. Incredible!  When I think back it’s hard for me to even remember what we did and who was here.  It all seems so distant….  But I have to say Thank you…. “Primero Dios” … God first.  I have to thank God… for putting this on our hearts and then making it possible… His way.  His way was was so much better than ours.  He “had our back’s” so to speak.  You know that old saying: “if He brings you to it, He will pull you through it”… that was so true in every aspect of our journey here in Guatemala.  Without Him, I think this would have been a bit of a disaster haha.  We have been along for the ride, watching our Ministry change so drastically.  What we thought we would be doing was not what we did.  It has evolved…. We laugh all the time at the sense of humour God has.  Geoff does not do well with crowds & I do not do well with little children.  Here we are in a ministry full of people and children.  We have watched our Ministry evolve into primarily medical.  As I said before, it’s great to build homes, but what good is it to have a home if there are no healthy people to live in it?  But I digress…. Also I have to say, Thank you so much to:

Matt (with us through thick and thin for 4 months… as much a part of our family as a volunteer… we love you Mateo!), Dave, Justin, Tim, Rachel, JD, Jazmin, Jesse, Vanessa, Laszlo, Sophia, Katharine, Rita, Debbie, Ursula, Bill & Leny, Natalee, Mike & Jess, Andrew, Sophia, Alana, Chanel, Madison, Jon, Kyle, Jared, Trish, Aileen, Gerry, Ang, Jessica, Rachel, Natasha, Kate, Erwin, Linda & Rachel (Rachel’s 2nd visit), Jaclyn, Lindy, Sandra, Justin, Kathy, Jazmin (Jaz’s 2nd visit), Kayden, Kenzie, Frank, Lori,  Ben & of course Stephen & Tammie from CTEN.   We love you all and thank you so much for all you did and continue to do.

A huge thank you to the Hermana’s & Noviciates of the Obras Sociales Padre Pedro.  You women are an inspiration.  You gave up everything to serve with everything.  We love you all so very much. Thank you to our family & friends here… we love each and every one of you.  I have to also say thank you to everyone who donated.  Without you and the people who came, none of what we did would have been possible.  Absolutely nothing.  Our family is not rich in the North American sense of the word.  We were able to pay only for our personal expenses to come here.  We could not afford to pay for what was done.  And so much was done this year.  Much more than I had ever imagined….

• A new classroom
• A new computer for the student Noviciates
• A new kitchen at the hospital, including new appliances
• A new bathroom area with 4 showers (previously all the Hermana’s shared one bathroom & one shower)
• 2 new food pantries
• 2 refurbished food and misc. storage rooms
• a refurbished kitchen for the Hospitalito
• A new dorm area for the Noviciates, featuring 12 new bedrooms
• New internet availability
• New crops were planted for food in several new gardens
• A new sewing machine, material & supplies for knitting & Crocheting
• New wiring throughout the entire hospital to replace the old and dangerous fire hazard wiring
• A Hermana earned her Nursing degree
• Several other Hermana’s are studying for various things such as Phd’s & Nursing degrees.  All others are able to now attend school.
• The children in the hospital received lab tests, food, vitamins, toys, and love from Canadian supporters.
• A few of the children now have monthly sponsors ready to help support them throughout their lives (there are still many without monthly sponsors so please consider this)
• 186 people both from the mountains & hospital received dental care through the kindness of our dental team led by Dr. Laszlo Szoke from Hamilton.
• Marquito received the first of several major surgeries to fix his severe cleft palate.
• More children were able to be taken in by the hospital for much needed care.  (there is still room for dozens more, but more money is still needed)
• A new chicken coop was built at the hospital to provide meat
• A new Hen house was built at the hospital to provide eggs daily
• A new pig-pen was built and pigs were bought to provide meat.
• Marco & Doris received a new home.  Built by our teams to provide a safe and good environment for Marquito to return to when he is healthy.  Our teams also provided, water lines, a sink, beds, a corn grinder & a tortilla stone to help this family become self sufficient for Marquito’s return someday.
• The Ruano family received a new home for them & their 10 children.  It replaced an existing home made of corn-stalk & garbage.  This new home gives them a safe & dry place, free of bugs to raise their lovely children
• Dozens of people from the mountains were seen by Dr. Milton.  People who otherwise had no way to receive medical care.  Medications are continued to be paid for.  (more are needed so consider this as a way to help)
• We paid for a funeral… for a young girl and her unborn baby that we were unable to help…. (this one hurt…. a lot)
• Various families received water, food and provisions (clothing, blankets, tarps etc).  These are people that we simply don’t have the money to help right now.  This is with a promise that we will try our best to help them further in the coming years.
• Hermana’s received lessons in English, Cooking, Nutrition, Sewing, Knitting & Crocheting to help them make their own things & not have to send them out to be made.
• Visits to villages to assess children and their needs.  Several were taken immediately to the hospital for care.

Whew!  While there is so much more that was done, little things…. this list above about covers the major stuff that was accomplished in 4 months.  Incredible.  I am humbled so much when I read that list…. Without God, none would have happened.  Without prayers none of this would have happened.  Without donors, none would have happened.  Without volunteers, none would have happened.   So many small pieces to a puzzle had to fit perfectly in order for this picture to be complete.  God is good.  So Good!

We are gearing up already for the next time.  While I do not know yet when that is.  There is talk among my family about returning in October or November.  Every one of us wants to come back… every one of us wants to come back soon.  Every one of us wants to come back for longer.  I am reminded of a blog I wrote a couple years back on here… A blog where I spoke about Guatemala leaving scars on your heart.  Beautiful scars that I cherish.  Now that I have lived here, really LIVED here I still agree with this statement.  But it is so much more than that for me now.  It has not only put scars on my heart…. it has enveloped my heart…. become a huge piece of it.  Every aspect of life here, from the friends, to the villagers, to the Hermana’s, to the kids in the Hospitalito. Every single thing.

I am not home yet and I already know the Canadian life will be foreign to me.  There won’t be cows to stop for on the highway… there won’t be chickens rambling around a restaurant I am eating in…. there won’t be Hermana’s to sing me random songs in the evening over coffee…. there won’t be the family talks every single evening around the table out back on our porch.  My family will scatter.  My boys will be off doing their own thing or consumed by tv which we haven’t seen in months.  I am scared to return to Canada… scared to lose what I have here.  I think that is what bothers me most about returning to Canada.  My family will lose the closeness that we have here.  We have been together, every waking moment for months…. with none of the distractions that North American life brings.  If I have learned one thing here it’s that the people here have it right.  They spend time together… all the time… and it’s resulted in a closeness that we don’t have in Canada.  Family is everything… not money.

However, money is necessary.  And here is where I send my plea.  Once again…. Rest assured that we are coming back here.  Rest assured that we will be doing more.  Rest assured that we will be coming at you hard and strong for money.  There is so much more to be done.  It doesn’t stop at kitchens & bathrooms.  Basically its a matter of saving lives.  I don’t want to have to pay for any more funerals.   We have had a taste of what we can all do together to help people and that has made us more resilient.  So if you haven’t already donated… or considered coming and seeing for yourself, now is the time.  Even if you have donated, I am asking that you consider giving more.  “Give until it hurts, then give some more”.   Great quote!  People here are hurting…. and for the cost of what we spend on cell phones or coffee each month you could help so many here.  So much has been done… yet so much left to do.

I take back what I said at the beginning of this post.  It is not over. It is just the beginning!  Children need sponsors…. What the hospital does is great, but what happens to the children when they return home?  Their families have not changed.  There is still no money to feed them.  So one of 2 things happen, the children either return to the hospital after a short time, once again malnourished, or they die.  Harsh but true.  Over and over again I have watched children come, be rehabilitated, and return in worse shape several months later… We need to help the families through money, jobs and education to provide the basic necessities for these precious children.  We need money to buy the available land for a farm.  This would provide jobs, food, and education opportunities for the people here.  The Hospital needs their budget to not only be covered but to be increased so more lives can be saved.  The Hermana’s need their schooling paid for so there can be more doctors & nurses available to help.  New malnutrition centers need to be opened across Central America so no more children will die needlessly.  The villages need clean water, food and shelter.  I just returned from yet another visit to the doctor with MRI results we had done earlier in the week in the Capital.  The diagnosis I saw a few minutes ago, with my own eyes.  The results glaring at me from a cold white backed screen holding the MRI pictures.  This precious 9 year old girl named Leydi  has parasites in her brain.  How does that happen?  From vegetables contaminated by the dirty water they use.  The dirty water they have no choice but to use.  Tragic… This should NOT happen!  The people need regular visits to the doctor, especially the children.  If we can head off things like parasites, juvenile diabetes, kidney problems etc early enough, then we won’t need to pay for funerals.   In Canada we enjoy the luxury of clean water & doctors at our disposal.  Here it is a thing only for the rich.  That is not right.  Every single person on this planet deserves the right to be healthy.  To have a chance.

Geoff, myself, Zachary, Lucas & Gabriel have all worked very hard both in Canada and in Guatemala to see our vision come to life.  We have learned Spanish, given up our comforts of home and put in the blood, sweat and tears here in the thick of it all to be the hands and feet of Jesus on the ground in our broken world.  Visit our website at www.ctenc.ca/ritadoppenberg and click “one time gifts”, or better yet, click “Recurring gifts”, fill out the monthly form & mail it away.  Give yourself the gift of knowing that money will be deducted from your bank every month toward helping these wonderful Hermana’s, strong & powerful women, who gave up everything to serve God and the poor.  Give yourself the gift of knowing deep in your heart that you are helping fellow human beings live…. because everyone has the right to life…. Please, Help us… help them.  Now is the time….