A Call to Action….
Firstly I would like to introduce our brand new YouTube Channel! Thanks to Dave Tebbutt! Dave arrived 2 weeks ago and is documenting our experiences for us so that you can see in short 5 minute video’s what’s going on here with us! Please check it out at: http://www.youtube.com/doppenbergrita
Secondly, I have to say, thanks for all the words of encouragement these past 7 weeks. It has been rough at times but overall life here is amazing. I love the place… the people… the work we are doing…. I love it all. Sure it’s tough to be surrounded by so much poverty… but it is also so uplifting to be surrounded by so much joy.
When I get down its mostly because of frustration. There is so much to do here and we are held back by the constraints of money. We are at the mercy of the donations of others…. and that is a very difficult place for us to be. Many people have never been here… and they have not seen what we are surrounded by every day and thus they do not fully understand. People who are so full of a joy that we hardly know in Canada and yet living a life so full of hardship we can barely comprehend.
I see people every single day that look 50+ when they are 30 due to hardship… I see people every day who work hard for next to no money…. I see people every day that want to work and can find no work and therefore cannot support their families…. I see people every day that are hungry and have no means to eat…. I see people every day that are tired… hungry… thirsty…. …… What I do NOT see every day is people who are sad…. They are happy… they are full of joy… they are full of hope….
What I want is to not only give them hope… I want so desperately to give them a future… I listen to Hermana Mercedes and her dreams… dreams of a future for the poor. Dreams of hope and equality for all…. I share that dream. I want to put a call to action out there to anyone reading this…. Will you consider sharing that dream with us and becoming a part of bringing hope for the future to those that need it…. ?
Reality is….
Sometimes everything here gets to me. I find it so hard at times just to keep it together. A very good friend said a few weeks ago that he wanted to know the hardships… basically the bad stuff… to feel a part of the “real” – ness of this whole thing. A way for him to follow the story of life here and see how the conflict within us gets resolved etc. I find that hard to do for many reasons but the most important reason is that its way too ‘real’ here at times. So much of the time I feel so raw that I fear if I wrote about it I would never stop writing. But the bottom line is that for every 10 things that are hard, or go wrong here there is 1 amazing experience that completely makes you forget the bad stuff and feel totally rejuvenated and sure that its all worth it.
But…..
At times…. It’s hard to be a ‘gringo’… it’s hard to live with people… it’s hard to sleep on cots in a kitchen and have zero privacy…. it’s hard to sacrifice money and comforts…. it’s hard to be exhausted almost all the time…. it’s hard to eat things you don’t like…. it’s hard to handle the stomach issues that go with the territory here…. it’s hard to be itchy 99% of the time from the bugs….it’s hard to be patient…. it’s hard to miss friends and family and be away from home… etc etc etc… the list is long …. trust me.
But….
It’s also hard to watch people suffer… to see need but have to say “no, we are so sorry but we cannot help you this year because we simply don’t have the money and there is someone else with just a bit more need than you that we have to help instead so we will try for hopefully next year…”…. This is the most trying part of doing what we are doing. This trumps all the inconveniences of living here. Being the one in charge here is something neither Geoff or I was prepared for in a way. The feeling of wanting to help everyone but being totally helpless in certain situations due to financial constraints is one of the worst feelings I have ever had to deal with. Having to look at people and say no… then hope and pray that the money comes in next year… and that they are still alive to receive that help is the reality of what we face every day…. a reality that I dislike very much…. but it is a reality none the less. It is so easy to feel hopeless at times and a quiet, near depression kicks in… having others around to share the burden is such a blessing. A sincere hug from someone who completely understands you at that exact moment is priceless….
We are 12 here at “Club Doppenberg” as Tim (one of our guests) affectionately calls our little home… it is tight at times… and just right at others. None the less we have done a lot of stuff in the past weeks since my last blog. To catch you up on some of what’s going on here…. Dave and Justin arrived and we are so happy to have them here for a few months…. We visited Mynor, Vincenta, Claudia, Minito, Moso, Losevin, and Jose David last week and took them for Jose’s last doctor visit to see if he needed any more treatments. When they walked out of the clinic we were all in shock to see his arm almost completely healed!! It looks like there won’t even be a scar! What an celebration that was! Later we took the gang Zip lining in Matequesquintlas (say that 5 times fast)…. a perfect relax day. Afterward we picked up Mynor’s family for a weekend away. After a good but crowded nights sleep at our home in El Progreso we were off with all 16 of us to visit Esquipulas. We toured the Basilica of the Black Christ and then an orphanage. Mynor and the family had never really had a weekend away/mini vacation and it was so much fun to be able to share it with them.
Our newest arrivals, Tim and Matt came the next day and we knew immediately that they were a great fit with our team! The past week has been so incredibly busy… We have begun construction of Marquito’s families home so that he can return there once the operations are done and he is healthy. Right now they live in 1 small room and have kitchen and no water. We are adding 2 rooms for them, a bedroom and a kitchen. We are also working with the village council to get water to the house. We visited my “Disneyland”, Yolanda’s village… a place where we 10 kids multiply into about 60 once the word gets out the ‘gringo’s have arrived. We played games and had a blast. We have also been touring homes this week with Hermana Mercedes…. she has made a ‘top 10’ list of the most in need families in the area that she knows…This is the tough part… we can only afford to build a few homes… not all 10. With the construction projects going on at the hospital there is only so much money to do other projects. Some of these decisions are no brainers… others are just so darn hard. We sit each night with our team… we talk and make decisions together… it helps, but it’s hard on all of us at times.
So many things I don’t understand… we toured a home today. A complete and utter disaster made of cornstalks, mud, and basically scraps. All I could think of is the 6 months of torrential rain Guatemala gets and how miserable it must be to live in this home that most certainly would leak and be cold… The reality is a family lives there… dad, mom and 10 kids…. It’s one of the most serious needs I have seen as far as ‘shelter’ goes. The strangest part, the mother asked if we wanted to tour the church next door… just a few steps away… she has the key so she can open it for people on Sundays. We entered this church… made of solid concrete… a building that would be warm and dry during the rains…. Many of us talked later about how messed up our world is when a family of 12 lives in horrific conditions while a church a few steps away sits empty 6 days a week…. reality is that sometimes our world makes no sense whatsoever….
I have struggled much with this kind of thing in the past weeks… I have had feelings and thoughts that are such a roller coaster of emotions. It would be very easy to become a ‘hard’ person. To become desensitized, unemotional and cold. I think it would be a comfortable, self-preservation mechanism. I made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t let that happen. It’s so hard because there is so much need here and we can only help a few…. the desire to help everyone is so strong… but the reality is… we can only help one at a time…
Hermana Mercedes visited us unexpectedly this afternoon shortly after we dropped her off after our tour of the homes. She had “buenas noticias” (Good News) she couldn’t wait to share so she hurried over. Marquito’s surgery is booked! This Monday at 4am an ambulance will pick him up and he will be off to Antigua for surgery Tuesday morning! Hermana was so excited that she could share the news with us in person… especially since Rachel is leaving on Sunday. The hope is that both surgeries will be done, his family home will be finished and he will be recovered when Rachel returns in March. What incredible timing! Hermana shared with us one more thing just as she was leaving… She smiled and reminded us all that because we had perseverance, patience and faith, its is actually happening… one boy’s life will be changed!!! At the end of the day, I sat and thought about everything that has happened… not just over these past weeks… but over the past years here…. I thought a lot tonight about what Hermana said about patience, perseverance and faith… I looked around at the people here in this house that have such amazing hearts…. it was one of those moments where I was reminded again that the reality truly is, ‘help one at a time’…. and if that is they way it has to be, I am absolutely ok with that…..
Resolutions…..
I have sat staring at a blank screen for a while now… I am not sure what to write or where to begin. So much happens here in a short time… it is difficult to write about it all, never mind capture the feelings that go along with what we see and do here. I guess I will begin by telling you a story…..
A year ago, a young woman named Rachel was here with us… she met Marquito…. she felt a stirring in her heart for this severely disfigured & blind 2 year old boy…. Upon returning home Rachel began to feel more and more… she decided to do something…. she worked, she fundraised, she loved. She wanted this boy to have operations to fix him and give him a chance at a normal life… a life that we take for granted every single day. Several times over the past year, I did not have the heart to tell Rachel that Hermana Mercedes had written and Marquito was dying. I prayed… a lot. When I finally explained to Rachel how ill Marquito was, and that it looked like he might not live, never mind have operations, she simply began to work harder and pray harder to get more money to him so he could get better… Rachel showed a kind of strength and devotion to this boy that I find very rare… to her, he is a complete stranger… a boy who cannot even see her… but he is no different than any other boy and deserves a shot at life. It has been quite a beautiful thing to watch for the past year… And now finally, the day I had been waiting for had arrived… 1 year almost to the day since they first met, Rachel and all of us began the short walk to the Hospital. It was time to reunite this little blind, disfigured boy with the young woman that Hermana Mercedes calls “Marquito’s Protector”, or “Marquito’s Angel”.
When we arrived Hermana Mercedes warmly greeted all of us and gave Rachel a big hug. Hermana Mercedes and Rachel had not really met face to face but know a lot about each other from communications over the past year. Its funny how sometimes you never even have to meet someone to ‘know’ them and love them. I noticed Rachel was already tearing up and we weren’t even inside yet. Hermana didn’t make her wait long and she began to lead the way. She gently touched Rachel’s back and gave her an encouraging smile. Make no mistake, this boy would simply most likely not be alive if it wasn’t for Rachel. I am not overstating here. Even Hermana Mercedes realizes this. The money Rachel has sent down monthly has saved his life. Because of her, Hermana Mercedes was able to get Marquito the medical attention he needed… attention that was way beyond what her humble hospital could provide. Medicines could be bought… necessary lab tests could be done…. Operations have been and will continue to be done. Marquito, God willing, now has a chance because of a young (15 years old at the time) girl who just said, “No, this is not acceptable, I need to do something!!”
The reunion was a tearful one…. Quite honestly one of the most touching moments of my life here. I only have a few pictures of the reunion because I wanted to enjoy every second of it without the distraction of a camera…. Once tears began to dry, everyone got involved and together we played with this precious boy. We brought him a huge soft stuffed animal. He loved it…. I wish every one of you could come and meet this precious 3 year old boy who to us is a miracle. He is alive…. people see him and feel shock…. some even disgust… he is hard to look at. But once you get over the initial shock you realize he is a little boy with feelings…. he can smile… he can love. God created him and he is beautiful!!! There is a pure joy inside him that I have not seen in any other child…. it is hard to explain… but it is beautiful….
We are doing many construction projects and renovations at the hospital. New bathrooms… new dorm rooms for the new novitiates (girls training to be nuns and studying medicine etc to help serve the poor), new ceilings in the hospital, a chicken coop so the Hermana’s can both eat and sell chicken for money and other necessary things as well. There is so much need surrounding the hospital building itself. And we are trying to fill that need so that children like Marquito can have a chance at life. If you are ever wondering what happens to the money we fundraise for…. please consider coming and seeing for yourself…. meeting the people and putting faces to the names… building relationships…. there truly is nothing like it.
On New Year’s Day, we sat and shared in the celebration here of 6 new Novitiates joining Hermana Mercedes Order of Nuns. We listened as they took their vows…. vowing to serve God and being the hands and feet of Jesus by giving up their secular lives to serve the poor for the rest of their lives. They will over the coming years, study to become doctors, nurses, teachers and other professions that can be useful in their mission. As I sat there and watched Hermana Mercedes present each one of the young girls with their first white veil, I was struck by the sheer magnitude of sacrifice these women make. They will never do most of the things every other girl does…. they will simply serve…. if there is no money for food… they will feed the children recovering there but they will not eat themselves… they will never date… they will never kiss a boy… they will never own a car… they will never do or have so many things…. but they will have so much more. I cannot explain the feeling of being here… The feeling of serving others… I try, but I fail. I cannot seem to convey what I want to say. I realize now its because its something you have to experience for yourself…. These nuns are hero’s. True inspiration… they inspire me every minute of every day to do more. 6 months a year here is not going to be enough. I will work full time and tirelessly when I am back in Canada…. tirelessly to raise more money… there is still so much to do…. and it is so incredibly important that it gets done. I will not give up. I have hope….
Hermana Mercedes shared a meal with us on New Years Eve…. she spoke once again to us about her dream of having many malnutrition hospitals and serving the poor in all the countries of Central America…. She said, “My hope is that, with God in front we can walk beside your family & the people of Canada across Central America to serve the poor”… I share that hope too…. what about you? Hope can become reality when people like Rachel step up, give and work hard…. There is still so much to do here and without people giving none of it can happen…. Personally I want to see all the forgotten Marquito’s of the world have the same opportunities that my sons and other children of the developed nations have…. I know that with God all things are possible. Let Him into your heart and together, with Him leading, we can walk side by side across Central America, bringing hope to the poor and making lives better…. Our New Year’s Resolution is to make this hope a reality…. Give, serve and sacrifice……You with us?
Rachel & Marquito's reunion
Nap time! All the excitement tired him out...
He loves his new stuffed animal
Before and after picture of a recent patient that is now home & healthy!
Jessy, Jazmin, JD & Rachel had a blast visiting with the other patients in the hospital.
Sharing a beautiful meal New Years Eve with the Hermana's & new Novitiates at the hospital
No hospital should look like this.... one in Canada certainly wouldn't anyway...
New bathrooms.... up until now, all the Hermana's shared 1 bathroom...... not anymore!!!
Brand new dorm room for the novitiates.
The new addition from the outside... so thankful that people are giving so some of these much needed renovations can be done... still a long way to go so keep on giving!!!
Front row seats for the Celebration of Vows for the new Novitiates
The new Novitiates taking their vows....
One of the new Novitiates getting her first veil....
Renovating a storage room into a room the Novitiates can study and relax
Jazmin, Rachel, me and the boys husking 4000 cobs of dried corn... it will be dried more then ground into corn flour and given to the poor.
Coincidences…..
The mood here changed drastically 2 days ago with new arrivals! Four students from Canada arrived and brought with them a lighthearted exuberance that we needed here. We loved our weeks of family time but it was becoming time to get some new blood here and get things rolling! It is JD, Jazmin and Jessy’s first time visiting Guatemala…. for Rachel it is her second. She was with us last year for a few weeks and it is now a huge part of her life. Day one for them began with part one of ‘the tour’….
We had big plans yesterday…. to visit sights, friends, and show our newest volunteers some of why we are here, beginning in Jalapa. We started at the Jalapa dump. The dump is a place that is hard to believe when you first see it. It is a dump like any other city has…. one can even accept the pigs and cows that are left there by rich farmers to fatten them up…. what one cannot accept is the families living there. The laughter in the truck got quiet very quickly when these 4 realized that the structured mountains of garbage are actually makeshift shanties that people live in. Kids and moms are everywhere sifting through garbage hoping to find a scrap of food or a treasure to sell. It is a place unlike anything I have ever seen in my life…. and I was rendered speechless and teary…. and I had been there several times. I can only imagine the thoughts running through our visitors brains upon seeing this horror for the first time. I remember the first time I went, I cried for days…. and it was an experience very formative to my decision to serve here.
Having JD speak Spanish is a blessing. Our Spanish is improving and coming along nicely but communicating with the Mayan people is very difficult due to the speed and accent they speak with. He wandered around and talked with people… One woman told him she had been living there for 30 years…. 2 children told him their parents were killed and they had no where else to go…. So many people… so many stories… each one just as tragic as the last…. There are very few word I can write to do this place justice…. suffice it to say that with the people covered in filth, living with pigs and rats, eating literal garbage and perpetual fires burning that if there is a hell on earth, the Jalapa dump comes very close to being it. We handed out some candy, warm blankets, hats and warm clothing and left with promises to return soon with more provisions. The ride out the gates of the dump was quiet with everyone thinking very hard of what they can do to help….
From there it was off to visit friends… Mynor, Vincenta and their family…. I wrote in a previous blog last year of their precious daughter Claudia. Our team last year pooled money together to buy her a mini laptop computer so she could continue her schooling and hopefully get a job to help her very poor family. We had many plans after visiting them…. but things change on a dime here…..
I read once a few months back on a sign at a Church near our home in Beamsville…. “Coincidences are God’s way of being anonymous…”… I truly believe that. Especially after all the ‘coincidences’ we have experienced here, through the years in Guatemala. Well our visit with Mynor and his family was one of those ‘coincidences’…. We were going to visit them a few weeks ago but for one reason or another never got there…. so we decided that today was the day… no idea why…. just the way everything worked out. Well we got there and I heard a scream of delight from Claudia inside the door when she realized we were there. She threw herself into my arms and began to cry. I looked over at Vincenta and she was holding her youngest son Jose David who is just under 2 years old, and she was quietly sobbing. I let go of Claudia to hug Vincenta and she pulled violently away from me. At first I did not understand, but she quickly showed me her son. His arm was very severly burned and looked absolutely horrific. She was holding up his arm… and it was weeping blood and looked awful. Apparently he had pulled a pot of boiling water off the stove onto his arm on Monday…. they took him to the hospital but had no money to pay…. so the doctor cleaned the wound and sent them on their way. Since then she had just been holding him, keeping his arm up… fearing infection and with no idea what to do. It was a no brainer…. none of us needed to even talk about it…. we needed to help them. So we told them that we were taking them to the Clinic and getting Jose David fixed up and we were paying. She tearfully explained to JD that they had been praying for a miracle…. and then we knocked on the door….
The rest of our day was instantly planned for us…. there would be no more time for visiting our other friends or anything…. God had other plans for us this day. So off we all piled into the truck and went to the clinic. They took the little guy right away and so we waited. They gave him some medicine to make him sleep and they took care of his wound. We took the others to a local restaurant for some lunch and played with the other boys in the play area. Vincenta and Jose David joined us when all was finished with his arm nicely wrapped and safely protected from infection. We paid the clinic for 3 more visits so that they can just take him every few days and get everything cleaned up and he can stay healthy. Together we ate… laughed and enjoyed the blessings of the day!
It seems that every day we are here, we are reminded of why we are here…. that this is our reason for being born into a country that is so prosperous….. that this is our reason for fundraising money for Guatemala…..I am reminded of what Hermana Mercedes said to us just before Christmas through her tears that “We were all born to serve the poor”…. My prayer, and I hope your’s is that these young people that are here volunteering are touched… that everyone who visits here, or anywhere in the world that has need, are touched…. and that they spread the word… and one family by one family, together we can change the world….
Shanties at the Jalapa dump
Perpetual fires burn at the dump
Imagine raising a child here.....
Handing out candy, blankets and warm hats
Talking with a woman who has lived at the dump for 30 years....
Some of these kids parents were killed & they have no where else to go...
Mynor explaining what happened to Jose David
Jose David getting treated at the clinic
Playing with the kids while waiting for their brother at the clinic
Mynor, Vincenta, Claudia, Minito, Moso, Luisbin & Jose David (all bandaged up!)
Claudia and me
Our family and our awesome visitors.... Jazmin, JD, Jessy & Rachel
Purpose….
Firstly, let me say…. The Doppenberg family wants to wish each and every one of you, and your family a Muy Feliz Navidad! A Very Merry Christmas!!! Tomorrow (Christmas Eve) I have the privilege of killing, plucking, cooking a turkey for Fernando’s family (pray for me haha). Afterward we will walk through the town holding candles while someone carries the baby Jesus to His manger in the village Church at midnight. We are really looking forward to experiencing this. Welcoming our Saviour into the world the Guatemalan way. This is a beautiful country steeped with tradition… Its quite beautiful.
I spoke last blog of the best Christmas gift I could have received… a kiss and a hug from a group of kids in a remote mountain village… and a heartfelt, teary eyed, Blessing from Hermana Mercedes… there was more to come…. It all began at 5am when we opened our front door to a group of nuns standing on the sidewalk so excited to begin what was going to be an adventure for them. A kind, generous donor & friend back in Canada sent us money to help buy Christmas gifts for the Hermana’s and the kids at the hospital. We pooled that money with the money we had set aside ourselves for gifts and we decided that toys were great, but shoes were better after seeing so many of them walking around barefoot. We told them we wanted to buy them all shoes…. they were thrilled and timidly asked if we could take them shopping in the big capital city. They squealed with excitement when we said sure!
Imagine being in your mid 50’s…. and never, ever going to a mall. Imagine you’ve never been able to buy something for yourself, just because …. Imagine you have never enjoyed a meal in a restaurant with your friends… Can you even imagine that? I know I couldn’t. I don’t think my eyes could have gotten any wider when I was sitting in an IHOP in Guatemala City with 10 Hermana’s from the Hospital and Hermana Mercedes told me this was a day of many “firsts” for her. First time shopping for herself… first time eating in a restaurant with the other sisters…. I was shocked…. she’s in her 50’s and had never done these things. Little things we take so for granted in our life… like the ability to shop whenever, wherever and for whatever we want or being able to pick up a phone and say to a friend, “Lets go for wings and pizza tonight”.
The day began like that for me. Humbled once again and yet mortified that we have so many opportunities and they have so few all because of where we happened to be born. As the morning progressed, I watched in awe over the next 3 hours that we spent in a little Payless shoe store in a giant mall in the Capital City, as they shopped like pro’s. Hermana Alba had brought a list of the other Hermana’s, the Novitiate’s (Nun’s in training), and all the Nino’s (Children). Everyone got shoes… and some socks for the kids in colder mountain climates. This single random act made life easier here for almost 100 people! My Mastercard actually declined when it was time for the purchase to be made. It literally imploded and I had to call and it took more then 1/2 an hour for the security/fraud department to trust that it was actually me making what they called ‘the single largest purchase at a Payless” they had ever gotten… Shameless plug here… but if you want to ever contribute… please do… and I promise you that the money will be spent in a more worthwhile way than you could ever imagine. It truly doesn’t get any better than this.
Next week our first volunteers arrive… this is so exciting for us. It has been kind of lonely here at times. Together we will build chicken coops and plant vegetables for the Hermana’s. They will be able to both eat and sell these. It is our plan to help give them hope and a way to be more self-sustaining. They want this so badly, but have never had the means to do so. To raise a baby chick from birth to market costs around 15 Quetzals… which is approx. $2.00 Canadian. They can then sell the chicken for around 100 Quetzals. This is a no brainer for raising money for the hospital. But they have, until now been unable to afford even the mere 15 Quetzals to buy the first baby chick. Having us build the coop, provide the guard dog (even here at the hospital, the poor will hop the fence and steal from them) and buy them the first 50 or so baby chicks is invaluable to them to get started. It’s not just about raising money and buying things for the poor here… its about finding a way to get them on their feet and give them the little push they need by providing an opportunity to thrive.
People tell me all the time how they can’t believe that we are doing this…. moving our family thousands of miles away for 1/2 a year. I guess after only a short time here I realize that we are the lucky ones…. the ones that get to experience this joy first hand. A few years ago if someone told me I’d be living in Guatemala basically on a farm, I’d have told them they must surely have bumped their heads lol. I’m just a girl who grew up in the city and look at me now…. living with my family in Guatemala… in a home that we share with tons of baby chicks, 3 bunnies, and 2 puppies. Yet everything has a use… the chickens & bunnies will provide food for the hospital… the puppies will provide security. There is no waste here… everything has a purpose. And so does everyone. I think that is what strikes me the most. Back in Canada we struggle to find our purpose…. why is that? Here, everyone know’s exactly where they are in God’s plan… while we read, and study and sometimes get paralyzed with fear and confusion over purpose. I realize now that we just have too much opportunity. It floods us and clouds our vision. Here life is simple and there is nothing to cloud anything. I can honestly say that it will be very hard to leave here and return home…. but I do know one thing…. All 5 of us will return home very changed people, changed for the better, and above all else THAT is the best gift we could ever receive.
Breakfast with the Hermana's at IHOP in Guatemala City
The Hermana's having a blast shopping
My Mastercard implosion reaction...
- Luke and Linda (beautiful)… the hospital’s guard dog to be…
Gabe and Meeko (raccoon) ... Fernando's guard dog to be....
Zack and our bunnies... food to be.... even cute things feed hungry people....
Our baby chicks that will be food for the hospital until they begin raising their own
All I want for Christmas…..
Settle in… grab a drink… I have a lot to say today….
Ah, life…. life is funny…. life throws you curve balls… life is hard… life is fun… basically life is what you make it. The past few blogs when I read them over are so very different and yet I am glad I wrote them. They are raw and totally capture my feelings the first week here. Wow, what a ride. People ask me how I am doing here… hmmmm, thats a bit of a loaded question. Basically I would say I am happy here. Are there times I wish I was home? Of course. But overall, I am happy right where I am. It’s been a weird couple of weeks. To go from the ‘normal’ life back in Canada to the ‘new normal’ life here in Guatemala has not been easy. Funny thing about following the so called ‘calling’… once you get into it, it feels ‘right’ very quickly. We are all moved in and settled into our new home. I can describe it in 2 words…. LOVE IT! We have made it our own already and have settled into a routine of sorts. Sure there are many things to get used to…. like the fireworks (read: mini bombs) that go off in the streets literally at all hours of the night (today was 5-6am) as people celebrate the coming birth of Christ. But overall things are good. We miss family and friends back home and anxiously await our first visitors due to arrive shortly after Christmas!
Speaking of Christmas…. that is a tough one here. Sure we have our 1 foot tree sitting on our plastic dining table, surrounded by our plastic lawn furniture ‘dining chairs’…. but it simply has been a struggle to ‘feel’ Christmas here. For me, Christmas has always been a big deal. I spend months preparing, shopping, and decorating. Here I have done none of those things. I bought that tiny plastic Christmas tree at the market for a few quetzals and one piece of blue and silver tinsel to decorate. That is it. Nothing else. There are no Christmas carols playing here… not ones I know anyway. There are no big decorated pine trees anywhere except the town square. There is a bit of hussle and bussle of shopping in the market, but for us gringo’s it’s no worse than the normal chaos the market brings. There is no mall here…no Santa sitting waiting for screaming kids to be put on his lap for pictures… Here, there are those fireworks set off, scaring the daylights out of you all night…. in anxious preparation for the birth of the Saviour.
We have made a family decision here… to pretty much not buy any gifts for each other. But instead to buy gifts for the Hermana’s at the hospital and the children, both there and on the mountain. Monday I am braving a trip to Guatemala city to take the Hermana’s shopping. They need some ‘girl’ stuff and would like to pick out specific things… that will be their Christmas gifts from us and a very kind donor back home who gave a significant amount of money for gifts for them. During that trip we will buy toys and things for the kids. Should be an interesting day. Overall, Christmas has had me kind of in a weird place. The woman who made Christmas such a big deal back home was taught a valuable lesson yesterday. People talk about the true meaning of Christmas all the time.. as we bitch and gripe on our way to the mall to do more shopping. We get our blood pressure up on the crazy drive there, screaming at traffic we don’t have time to be in because we are afraid the ‘perfect’ gift might be gone if we are one minute late getting there. Then we get to the mall and whine over the line’s in the stores, or the fact that the debit machines are so slow… We chase our tails for weeks before, preparing for an occasion that will be over literally within minutes of waking up on Dec 25th. Is that what Christmas really is? I guess it was time for me to learn another lesson…..
Yesterday, we were invited to a breakfast at the hospital. To meet with Hermana Mercedes about the coming months and work projects etc. Hermana Mercedes has been burned many times in the past. People come and people go… People make promises to her and don’t follow through. Hermana is a brilliant woman with a Master’s degree in medicine and is one tough cookie to crack. She has always been very ‘guarded’ with us. Never letting her guard down one bit. Very nice and polite but waiting for us to bail on her so to speak. At the end of our meeting yesterday… she made a speech. One I will never, ever forget. She spoke of how, ‘everyone in that room was born to serve the poor’ and that God send our family at a time when she was at a low. When her faith in God was shaken because she had literally no hope. There was no money, there was no help, there was no hope. But God sent ‘Angels’ from Canada… and these Angels are spreading the word in a far away country… and sending more Angels… and God, through them have restored her hope…. her faith… and for the first time in almost 30 years she can see her dreams again…. dreams of opening other “hospitalito’s” (little hospitals) for starving children in other parts of Guatemala… Nicaragua, Honduras, El Salvador etc. And for our family and the people of Canada she will always be thankful. Children are being saved from certain death and she will pray always for us…..and thanks God for us.
When I looked up, when she was done speaking, I saw she was crying. You have to know Hermana Mercedes to know this is an incredible thing. All the other Hermana’s were crying just seeing her cry. Of course that made me cry… I reached my hand across the table and she very hesitantly she took my hand. I looked in her eyes and said… “we will always be here to cry with you, to walk with you and to follow wherever God leads right beside you”…. That was all I could manage in that precious moment. Fernando, Geoff, my boys, all the Hermana’s and me and Hermana Mercedes… all teary eyed…. all together… united in a goal… a goal that God has put on all our hearts. A goal that my family will see through until the end….
After that incredible moment… we parted ways. It was time for us to go to a village about 2 hours away. The village of San Juan Las Brisas. This village is in the Santa Rosa region of Guatemala. A lush, green area that is famous for growing coffee and sugar cane. A region that is also famous for their earthquakes. Back in July they had over 500 small earthquakes in a 30 day period. Imagine living there… imagine being poor there.. no where to go. Simply accepting your fate and knowing that a big earthquake could hit at any time and you could simple vanish from the planet… and no one in the world would know but your village… you are the forgotten… obscure little blips on this big blue ball. Guatemala is full of them.
A big one did hit… 3 big ones to be exact… back in September. Fernando called us. The village of San Juan Las Brisa’s was decimated by earthquakes. The rains were heavy in September and they were cut off from help by the fact that the one and only bridge to their village was under the river so there was no way in or out. People were dead and the ones left were cold, thirsty and starving. We immediately sent money down for him to buy water, blankets and some food for this village and Fernando and his father delivered the supplies once the water had receded enough to get help to them. Yesterday was the day we were invited to meet the people we helped face to face. We loaded ourselves, a pinata, some stuffed animals that were donated, some blankets and knitted hats that Geoff’s mom made into the truck and off we went.
To make this short and sweet, it was an incredible day. We met Carmen and her sister… Together we toured the devastation and with heavy hearts went back to Carmen’s home where all the village children had gathered to see the white people. Everyone knew we were coming and they were all dressed in their best clothes and had prepared a meal for us. Fernando explained that we could only eat the meat they had prepared because the parasites in anything else would be very dangerous to our health. Carmen brought out a 2L bottle of pepsi. I have to explain… the amount of meat they had prepared and a 2L bottle of Pepsi costs more than they make in a month. But for us, they sacrifice. Drives us banana’s to think they won’t eat much now for the month… but its part of life here. Give, give… give… give… It’s crazy. Would any of us back home share our last cracker if that is all we had to eat for a week? If that is all we had to feed our kids? Think about it… would you? Anyway…. we ate… and we set up a pinata. The kids were so incredibly happy… we found out after they had never had a pinata before and had no idea what to do. After some instruction and after the first piece of candy fell… they knew. Once it broke it was instant chaos. So fun. Many of these kids had never tasted ‘dulces’ (candy but literally ‘sweeties) before. Then we handed out stuffed animals, hats, blankets etc.
I sat in a chair after it was all over and watched the kids. They all had mouths full of dulces and were clutching their stuffed animals… some were happily playing all over the dirt with their new toys. My heart was full…. full to bursting. Bursting with the knowledge that I am where I am supposed to be. Then suddenly a tiny little boy came up to me… He threw his arms around my neck, kissed my cheek and said … “muchas gracias” (thank you very much)…. then ran shyly away. My eyes filled with tears…. and I put my head down so no one would notice…. When I lifted my head once I had composed myself I saw an incredible sight… a line of children… big, small, male, female…. each and every one of them threw themselves at me with arms wide open… hugging and kissing me and saying in Spanish…. “Muchas Gracias”… One by one they came… they went to each and every one of us after me. My heart almost burst… and I realized something…. THIS is what it’s all about… This is why I am here… This moment and the one I shared earlier in the day with Hermana Mercedes and the others is all I want for Christmas…..
The bridge that connects the village to the rest of the world....it was totally under water during the earthquake cutting off the village from help.
A temporary shelter for 12 people after earthquakes destroyed homes
Zack & Fernando with a gift for us from the village
Earthquake destroyed all homes in this village.... had it happened at night many more would have died.
Fernando, Luke and Gabe with the village kids
Breaking stuff is so fun... especially pinata's full of dulces!
Once they figured out dulces was in that pinata it was pure joy & chaos!
The little guy coming to give me my hug and say thank you...
Old dog… new tricks?
Life is full of lessons… even for us “old dogs”, God can teach us many new tricks. We have been here in Guatemala for only 5 days…. feels like 5 weeks. So much has happened and we have learned so much already. There is a certain arrogance that surrounds our culture. We think we are going to come into a country as missionaries and teach them better ways. Funny thing happens instead… they teach us VERY quickly what is wrong with our ‘better’ ways. Pretty much just about everything. We come in with plans… Our plans suck, for lack of a better word. Us arrogant Canadiense’s are brought to our knees within moments of being here. We truly don’t mean to be arrogant… we come here with the best of intentions…. but we get knocked down instantly, to their level… which quite frankly is above ours in so many ways.
If Guatemala had a better system of equality and Government they would be coming to Canada as missionaries to help us. Of that I have no doubt. They would teach us patience… they would teach us to trust in God and not in ourselves… They would teach us lessons that our brains need to learn. It has taken less than 5 days for us to be humbled beyond measure. God wanted to make sure we were in complete surrender before He made things the way He wanted them to be and not the way we had envisioned.
All the struggles of the past few days, of which I won’t go into detail but trust me they were bad… were necessary. Necessary to teach us a lesson that we honestly could not have learned any other way. We had that Canadian arrogance knocked right out of us and now we are truly ready to do what we came here to do… God’s way, not ours. We are so rushed in our lives. And I admit I am one of the most chaotic people around. Here, there is no such thing… everything moves at a relaxed, snails pace…. it’s so tough to get used to… especially when you are in need of something… like a place to live. We expect everything to be done NOW…. Not going to happen… no sense getting your blood pressure up. I swear people here don’t die much of stress induced illness… simply doesn’t exist. They don’t get stressed. Even the ones dying of malnutrition simply wait patiently for God to help them… Sure they do everything in their power to make things happen and at the same time they joyfully trust…. completely. They totally understand that they need Him… and His will be done.
We have a home that will be ready for us to move in on Tuesday. The location couldn’t be more perfect… less than a 1 minute walk to the hospital. More than we could have ever hoped for. We have some furnishings already… We have the basic necessities of life now… and we have each other. That is all we need. I will be learning to cook with wood, the Guatemalan way.. I will be learning to do laundry by hand, the Guatemalan way… I will be learning to shower with cold water, the Guatemalan way… And I will be teaching them some of our ways. Fernando’s family has given me the honour of preparing Christmas dinner… they want a traditional Canadian turkey dinner cooked in an oven that they have no idea how to use. They want to learn our way…. and in return they will teach me their way. What a wonderful exchange of lives taking place.
We have already experienced so much of the culture here… Beginning with the day we got here. Dec 7th… El Dia del Diablo. The day of the Devil. Its El diablo’s birthday and at 6:00 pm fires are lit everywhere to burn pinata images of the bad guy. They roast him and celebrate a new beginning to life in the ashes… they burn the bad guy and all he brings… he has no power here…. They won’t let him have any power over them. Out of such simple lives come such wisdom! What a beautiful symbolic ritual that has been carried on for centuries.
And so we carry on… with lessons learned… valuable ones that we will take home and carry with us the rest of our lives. Only 5 days in and already we are changed people. Makes me wonder in awe of what the next 5 months will bring….
A new beginning…. again…..
Today is a new day… it’s amazing what a good night of rest can do for the spirit. Everyone in the family woke up this morning feeling much more able to handle things. My blog of yesterday was negative. It was also short. Basically if I had written about everything that had gone wrong in the past 48 hours it would have been 12 pages long…. it was about much more than just hot water. Its amazing how one can just get hit over the head multiple times with bad things and still go on, but we are human and we can get pretty down just like everyone else when things become too much. Yesterday we felt weary and worn down though. It really took a lot out of us. Basically it was a disastrous beginning.
Today, I am saying was the official beginning! And what a beginning it was. Early this morning we were off to the Hospital Infantil Padre Pedro for a Christmas party. It was a ‘family reunion’ with all the children that had previously been rehabilitated at the hospital invited. We were shocked by the sheer number of people in attendance. Tears rose to my eyes as I saw Hermana Mercedes for the first time in almost a year. She was surrounded by the happy faces of the little children that are now alive because she took it upon herself to follow the will of God and serve here. Her and I shared a hug that had so much meaning behind it even though our spanish/english communication is still in its infancy. There are some moments that are just beyond words…..
Heading into the nursery for the first time in almost a year was unreal. Seeing all the children in their beds trying so desperately to get healthy breaks your heart. Around the corner in his special room was Marquito…. That boy is so incredibly special…. Rachel has worked so hard for this boy and on December 15th he will have the first surgery to reconstruct his face. It hit me as I held him and then again as Geoff was holding him and Marquito was laughing that without people like Rachel that precious boy would most likely have died. God put him on her heart and she did everything in her power to help him… and help him she did. I saw the proof with my own eyes… and heard his laughter with my own ears…. Amazing! After visiting the children, we shared lunch with the Monsignor of Guatemala, some other guests and Hermana Mercedes… The sisters prepared a very special lunch for their guests. They treat us like royalty here and we do not like it. We are here to serve them and yet they serve us so completely. It is so humbling…. It truly is about relationships here… and we have a family here, more so than we had ever realized before. That is a gift straight from God.
No matter what life throws at us here… we are ready for it. This is why we are here… and nothing, not even no water (today we not only have no hot water but no water at all) will ever get in the way of what God has us here to do! And on behalf of our family, we would like to thank everyone who is helping us financially… personally… prayerfully… etc. Without you beside us, none of this would be happening. We promise to stick it out and make the best of every moment and also be thankful for the privilege of getting to serve these wonderful people!
The Christmas Reunion Party at the Hospital
Fernando & Gabe
Geoff and Marquito
Me & Marquito
A wonderful traditional lunch
Luxury….
Well here we are… safe and sound in Guatemala. I cannot begin to express how strange I am feeling being here. We had plans. We should have known better…. hahaha. Things rarely work out the way we plan them. Normally I am really great at contingency plans. Being in a foreign country however has me feeling a tad paralyzed at the moment. I am more homesick than I have ever been in my entire life but I know that will pass and is mainly a product of the uncertainty that surrounds us right now.
It all began yesterday… flight delays and minor setbacks had us awake and on the go for basically 2 days with no sleep…. We got through it. Then upon arrival the hotel we had planned to be at the entire time we learned they changed the rules… seems they don’t want to play anymore. Missionaries or not they are ripping us off. Upon arrival it seems the price more than tripled. That is not acceptable but despite our original agreement they won’t budge. So we are at a different hotel for the time being. A very different hotel without any frills. It’s ok… hot water is a Canadian luxury after all right? I am preparing mentally for 6 months here and I know I can do it. It won’t be easy… but it is what it is. We are looking right now at homes to rent. Perhaps we can find one but if we don’t then we simply deal with what we have and be thankful. It’s already leaps and bounds beyond what most Guatemalan people have.
Isn’t it funny how we can be missionaries and still be totally mortified at the thought of no hot water for months…. Makes me stop and re-think my priorities. As much as I hate to admit it, I want hot water! But why? Do I deserve it more than others here? No…. but I still want it. A part of me deep down sort of hopes that we perhaps don’t find a house… and that I live without this luxury… as a learning experience about myself and how far I am willing to sacrifice. I guess I am also worried about the volunteers that will be coming. How will they react if we are still in this hotel? It is no-frills… but it is safe…. it has beds… it is clean… it is totally all we could ever need…. but…. will they be happy… will they be upset? Crazy that I am thinking that…. and worrying… after all… isn’t this whole experience all about sacrifice? If you are a volunteer and you are coming…. prepare yourself… this could be more than you bargained for… but while I cannot promise hot water… I can promise an experience you will never ever forget!!!
…Priceless….
9 days and counting…. My next blog will be brought to you from El Progreso, Guatemala…. Unreal!!! Preparing for Guatemala has been draining…. It has taken every fibre of our strength to get through these past few months. Guatemala has seemed more far away than ever during this time. Buried under our lives here and the mountains of paperwork and things that go into big time fundraising. I guess I was not prepared… I kind of went into this blind. Some of the time we have felt very alone in all of this and that is hard to take.
When you believe in something so strongly, its mentally draining to work so hard to try and make people understand…. but one simply must accept that not everyone see’s things the way you do. I have seen… and it has changed my life… Some people who haven’t seen simply don’t understand. I guess I see the world through different eyes because of my experiences over the past years. Once you figure that out you can relax and not let disappointments rule you. You learn to celebrate the triumphs and let the failures roll off your back in a sense.
Through all of this I have felt very overwhelmed… especially by the life change I am about to endure. I am no saint… I am a normal person…. a woman with feelings, wants and desires like everyone else. There are times I simply don’t want this life. I see people with nice homes and cars and I almost mourn the loss of that stuff…. I’ve been struggling at times lately. I find myself more ‘weepy’ than normal… a bit more on edge. I was terrified. To be honest more often than not I found myself thinking.. “how the heck did I get here? Stop the ride, I wanna get off.”
Through all of this… I have talked with people… Friends both old and new…. Through these conversations I have been re-inspired. While I’m not in Guatemala just yet, and they seem very far away…. I have experienced community like never before. I have come to the realization that this is such a gift to us. As strange as this sounds, its not just about Guatemala… It is about people. People there AND people here. I have learned so much through all of this. We have a ministry… and so many people have thrown themselves into this beside us…. the people we serve in Guatemala will be well cared for…. But I have learned that WE will be cared for as well!!! Its no longer us having a ministry… but being a part of a ministry and that includes us being ministered to. It’s so hard to explain….
This past week we had both a fundraising dinner and a concert by NEWWORLDSON. Planning the dinner was insane. Details, paperwork, phone calls… epic amounts of planning. Our friend Dave Tebbutt put the entire concert together so that was something thanks to him, we could just pretty much relax and attend. One puts so much emphasis on the raising of money you become fixated on numbers. Its a tough thing because Guatemala cannot happen without money. But we have learned these past weeks that its NOT about the money. It NEVER was about the money. It’s about people. Here and there!!!
There are people… key people… and you know who you are, and if you do not then I have failed at telling you how important you are to me and I am sorry…. but key people who have taught me over the past weeks and months how much I am loved and that is incredibly priceless… for that I will be forever grateful. I love you… every one of you… and I have learned so much from you about what it means to be RADICAL in my faith and standing up for what I believe in even when it gets hard and overwhelming. I am not missing out on ‘stuff’… I am the lucky one… I have people who love me!
The minister of Calvary Church prayed over our family last night after the concert. Something that was fairly new to us… complete with laying on of hands etc. I cannot explain what an incredible moment that was for our entire family. It was a pure gift from God and one of the most powerful moments in my life. God was there in that room last night… and He, through everyone there last night renewed my strength at a time I needed it most. I can go now… because it is what is right. I have finally surrendered…. and there is a peace in that beyond measure.
Looking out over a crowd of people at the concert last night was an amazing experience for me and my entire family. Looking into the faces of everyday people… some family… some friends… some strangers was so surreal. The gentle smiles we saw spoke volumes to us. These people, especially the ones we know were there because of love. Love for us… love for what we stand for… love for each other and love for strangers thousands of miles away that need them. Recently, it made me think of a quote I had put as my facebook status just a few days ago… “Stand up for what you believe in, even if you are standing alone.”…. The most beautiful privilege I get to have during this adventure is that I now know and understand that I never have to stand alone again… and that is worth more than anything.
The Doppenberg's in Guatemala.... 