Well… today is Friday… The students are gone to put a roof on a home.  I have stayed behind to get this “school” routine started.  Im feeling a bit humbled because I cannot seem to access certain aspects of the periodic table in the archives of my mind. 

I have had no internet access before today (and today is pretty sketchy), and considering my thoughts are so all over the place, its not a bad thing.  Trying to process things in my mind is something Im struggling with big time.  This experience is both beautiful and hard.  Quite possibly the hardest thing I have ever done.  My family has served before… Katrina relief, Alaska etc.  but this is different.  Our first experience serving in a developing country.  This is different… this is brutal… this is REAL!   This is not some TV infomercial or a postcard with a picture and an address to send money… This is “NEED”….  NEED with big brown eyes staring at you… NEED with hands that wrap themselves around you and cling to you.

Ted took us all and the Co op students on a tour yesterday.  We had the privilege of meeting Sylvia and her daughter Jenny.  Sylvia is a single mom with several children the youngest of which (Jenny) has a serious brain condition.  She is such a sweet little girl full of smiles but she is quite ill and in need of an operation asap.  After that we saw Shelley who is epileptic.  Because her family could not afford medication to control her seizures when she was little she has been left brain damaged.  She is an amazingly beautiful young lady… simply stunning….  I heard words like sexual abuse being said… Watching her I immediately felt the tears come.  I thought of my own sister who like Shelly is epileptic.  Its such a controllable disease.  There is no reason on earth why this should happen.  Emotions coursed throught me…. Tears came harder, my voice cracked.  Ted looked at me and said quietly, “Rita, you havent seen anything yet”…  <sigh> at that moment I realized none of my previous experiences had prepared me for this. 

We also met with the leaders of the villages water council.  Some of these men had travelled hours and crazy distances by bus and on foot to be there for this short meeting.  The meeting began with these men praying for us… and thanking God for us…. One man had tears streaming down his face during that prayer.  The students were touched and some cried they were so humbled.   Just after the prayer 2 men left and a short time later we were startled by the sound of fireworks.  They set off round after round of fireworks to welcome us.   After the meeting they gave us 3 chickens and 3 cases of pop to thank us.   This is a cost to them that we cannot comprehend.  They most likely wont be eating chicken for at least a month as a result of our gift.  Quite frankly it is going to be difficult to eat those chickens knowing how high the cost to them was, but to not do so would be insulting so we will eat them out of respect. 

We made various other stops at villages, a school and various Wells of Hope projects that have been completed in years past.  Every stop children came running from everywhere, smiling, laughing and immediately surrounding us.  One little girl came to me and held my hand… she walked with me everywhere and when we stopped she simply clung to me like a child clings to her mother.  I cannot begin to describe how this child made me feel and if I even attempt to write it down I will be crying yet again & I’ll be unable to continue writing… emotions are running very high here. 

I cried four times yesterday (and for those of you that know me, I don not cry easily).  It was my first full day… I can already see changes in the co op students, in Dave, Alley and Nicole, in my family and in myself…. Subtle changes but changes none the less.  Im growing attached to the students.  I love talking with them and watching them.  I guess being involved in youth ministry makes me this way.  I love watching relationships form.  I know the youth trip to New Orleans last summer created bonds that will never be broken and we were only together for 10days.. these kids have 3 months!   I feel the pull to return here at the end of the program to see the changes in them first hand.  Im already praying for God to open a door to make our return possible. 

I took a break from writing just now… a time for a walk through the banana field to try to gather my scattered thoughts.  You know what I heard on my walk??  Laughter!   Thinking back to yesterday’s tour… the villages, the school… I heard tons of laughter.  It surrounds us…. its infectious… and glorious to hear.   It makes you laugh right along in its simplicity.   Its not the fake, forced, under the surface laughter of children back home.  Its the deep down, soul healing laughter.  It comes from the children… the poor ones… the ones that live in the mountains… the ones that live on the camp year round… the ones that live at the bottom of the hill here…. it literally surrounds us.  Funny thing is…. its infected my boys… Ive listened to them laugh like never before.   They have made friends with the Guatemalan kids here…. language is no barrier…. they share the common language of laughter!  You know the one… the universal language of laughter that signifies joy…  The language that exists in the simple things.  It knows no poverty, no stress, no junk.  We have too much junk!  We need to return to simplicity… to laughter.  I want to laugh more… I need to laugh more… like the children here do…. and they are slowly teaching me how….

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*NOTE:  Since I didnt get the internet up and running until late Friday night I decided to update you on something that happened today.

Have you ever seen or experienced something so shocking, so against the grain of what you imagine the world should look like that you cannot even begin to comprehend?  Something that literally hits you in the face to show you how broken our world actually is?   I had one today…

This afternoon Don took  Geoff, myself, the boys, Dave and Nicole out to the orphanage to visit with the kids and to check on the status of the roof.   After Geoff finished and we played with the girls (including the infamous Norma) for a while we were on our way.  We stopped at the market in Jalapa to get a snack for the ride home.   After that we were set to return to camp but Don said he really wanted us to see something before we left Jalapa.  After a short drive we were in a cemetary with above grade colourful crypts all decorated with paper flowers.  We thought this was what he wanted us to see… Little did we know….  We drove a bit further and just over the rise of the hill we saw it… A tent village of sorts complete with shanty’s, draped sheets, and lean to’s … right smack dab in the middle of the dump.   Children playing in the mountain of garbage… throwing it at each other… doing flips into it…. moms and other kids using their hands and hoes to sift through the garbage looking for treasures.    Huge pigs & dogs were everywhere scavenging right along side the people.  They live there and ran to the truck as soon as they spotted us hoping to be the first to claim whatever garbage we brought and see what treasure it held….  They looked truly disappointed when we told them we had nothing.     We sat in total silence watching this scene…. we put aside our snacks, too ashamed to eat them anymore.   No one spoke for a bit… and in that silence I head the strangest noise coming from outside the truck…. the children were laughing…….

Thanks so much to everyone for all your kind words, prayers and support…  Its such a blessing to have so many people that care about us!

Well yesterday was challenging… to say the least.  Having returned from the youth retreat I (and Dave, Alley & Zack) were all running on about 3hrs sleep Friday night… 4hrs Saturday and Zero on Sunday.  I figured I could sleep on planes and in the airport between connections.  Well apparently not haha….  Without bothering with every detail of our horrific day yesterday suffice it to say in summary… it sucked!  haha…   3 airports, 3 missed flights, 1 lost bag…. sleeping on the floor of various airports etc.   Crazy day…  It took us from 1am until 11pm last night to get to Atlanta but we truly felt awesome to actually get there.

There is something about travelling that brings out the best and worst in people.  Especially when there are problems.  Yesterday was awful and yet we made the best of it.  I am filled with a pride in my kids.  Wow, this could have been a disaster of epic proportions travelling with kids but they were patient, courteous and just all around great.  We all ran yesterday on no sleep and again Im struck with the feeling that it has brought the 7 of us together even closer than before.   I truly feel that this trip is going to be amazing beyond our wildest imaginations.

So… Im writing this from the floor of yet another airport… my flight to Guatemala city is boarding in 10 minutes.  We will be spending the day & night in Guatemala city while we wait for Ted and the Students to arrive tomorrow so we can all head to camp together.  Exciting!!!   Zack said something to me yesterday… after Delta airlines in Detroit had a computer glitch with our rebooked flight from Buffalo that made us miss yet another flight…. He said,  “Its like God is testing us to see just how bad we want this…. “….  You know what?  Yesterday watching Zack, my family, Dave, Alley and myself I realized…. we want this… and we want this, bad!    God Bless!

Well, the time has come… the bags are packed… the drive to the airport looms ahead…  I have just returned a couple hours ago from the Sr. Youth Winter retreat.   What I experienced there has not even begun to sink in yet and I am almost off on another adventure.

Youth… its what its all about to me… the future… the present… the now and the soon to be…  I did alot of watching and listening this weekend.  I watched … I payed attention… I opened myself up… and I was witness to real life miracles.   Youth… young adults… struggling… broken and so, soooo beautiful.   I cried alot this weekend.  Openly, in private and deep inside my soul.  Tears of joy, tears of sadness but mostly tears of hope…..   I held alot of broken youth while they cried this weekend… embracing and letting them know that I am no less broken myself… This is all a jouney we are on together.  A tough one when you choose the path we have…  the hard path.. but the one that is so worth it.

Youth… They laugh… they cry… they hide… as we all do… If people will just listen to them, they have so much to say.  So much to learn… so much to offer… so much to teach each other and us older generation.   All they want is to be heard… they dont even care if we understand… they just want to be heard… I am making it my top priority to listen… to them… to myself… to God….   I know this makes little sense… but I just am writing what I feel and Im still so raw… my emotions are running very close to the surface.  Chalk it up to perhaps being tired if you will… but I know its so much more than that.

Im off to spend 3 weeks with some amazing young people who have begun a journey with Wells of Hope… a co-op experience…. I feel so blessed to share this with them… and Im going to listen… alot… and Im hoping to be witness to some amazing things that God has in store for them… and for me…..

Hey everyone….

So, its Tuesday… I leave on Friday for the youth retreat… and then early… very early Monday morning with my family for Guatemala. Everyone wants updates, and regular ones… this is the only way I could think of to do that efficiently considering how busy we will be and sporatic internet connections. I don’t know if anyone will actually read this and if you are… Im sorry hahaha…. My thoughts might tend to be all over the place. I’ll be using this as a bit of a journal for my own benefit as well. As my wonderful lifegroup girls can tell you, when I get lost in a random thought.. look out. So bear with me… read if you want… don’t read… whatever, its all good.

I’ve spent alot of the past weeks trying to figure out what God is doing with my life… exactly who I am and why I am where I am. Had anyone told me a few years ago that I’d be a youth leader… heavily involved in a community (Church… but I love the word community so much more) … talking major stuff about myself with a random group of people (my own life group) and on my way to Guatemala… well I would have called you nuts. The Guatemala part seems to me to be just about the only part of my life that makes sense. Its kinda the thing Geoff, me and the boys have always done… We’ve been doing Katrina relief work with various organizations since the hurricane… We’ve been to Alaska to build homes…. so Guatemala fits… sort of. The rest it occurs to me has happened because I finally stopped doing life my way and have embraced letting God do it for me so to speak. And look where I am now .. (see above haha). And you know what? Life is so much better. I have a sense of finally kinda being on the path I was always supposed to be on… again I say finally!

I see now that meeting Ted and getting involved with Wells of Hope is no coincidence… becoming a youth leader for Southridge is no coincidence…. meeting and marrying Geoff was no coincidence… Alley and Dave ending up going to Guatemala with our family is no coincidence…. there simply is no such thing…. its all part of a plan… a plan that includes so much pain sometimes its unbearable… but in the end it all somehow works out. Its taken me a very long time (41yrs) to realize that and somehow the realization makes it all seem so much better… I am only one person…. but I can make a difference…. nomatter how small that difference is… I CAN be the change, even if only a tiny speck of it… I CAN!

Much Love & God’s Blessings….
Rita